Welcome back to another episode of my desperate attempt to save face in the tribulations of motherhood, specifically when put up against the shows that rule our lives for at least half a decade. I'm being dramatic, of course, but some of these shows definitely take a toll on many a psyche, especially todays point of topic: Cocomelon. The inescapable behemoth that seemed to pop up out of no where and invaded every observable surface targeted to towards toddlers. I honestly believe due to the sheer immensity of Cocomelon, coupled with animation that looks homemade at best, we as the parents forced to endure every conceivable aspect of this show tend to feel victimized by it rather than see what it really strives to be. And though it's a bit difficult for me as well as I can name at least 5 shows that do the same thing but way better, I am going to employ my optimism to drop a very hot and spicy take: This show is pretty good. Will that save it from my criticism? Oh hell no. ❤️

_Pros

• First part of my hot, juicy, oh-so-spicy take that many, many parents may disagree with (which is completely valid. I see you. It's okay.) I honestly believe the music in this show is, for the most part, very good. Now, I am not a music expert, but I know at least enough about music theory and story telling to know that they take a lot of care with those aspects when enveloping the narratives the show intends to tell. I was most shocked about this when I finally forced myself to watch it. If you're not familiar with how the formula of the segments work, they are set up as follows: One of the kids, generally JJ, are faced with something new but relatable to many kids within that age. A parent, guardian, or even one of the other siblings takes it upon themselves to help the kids learn how we would go about partaking in these tasks. These lessons are usually set to the tune of a familiar children's nursery rhyme, or an original tune by Cocomelon themselves. What's interesting about the tunes they choose, is that they tend to use the same ones when approaching lessons of similar nature, or depending on which kid is learning that lesson. So it's safe to say some kids are met with a musical motif whenever they appear. Thereby the use of music isn't just to drive us completely nuts, but helps children build familiarity with the characters, as well as helps them memorize the steps of these lessons as they can easily recall the tune that goes with it. Much like my sweet, obnoxious Barney before helping me clean up my room, my daughter completes many tasks using these tunes to guide and motivate her, and she sometimes makes up her own words. What better way to inspire creativity then invoking a child's musical spirit?

• And speaking of JJ, who can forget that kid's lovable face? (it haunts my nightmares after all, lol) My daughter certainly can't forget him. In fact, all of the character designs are very unique and memorable. Now, don't get me wrong, I have my negative feelings about them, but when my daughter knows who's who better than I do, and excitedly points out the toys she sees at the store, I can't complain too much. And with those simple, yet very effect character designs comes just as simple and effective names. JJ, Yoyo, Tomtom... She knows them all, even the names of the other kids from JJ's school, whom I am pleased to report are very diverse and also unique in design.

• I am very pleased with all of the human characters, and the lessons they come along with are very important, even for me. While they're primarily pretty simple ones like tying shoes, cleaning up, and manners, they're taught with patience and gentle parenting. This thought occurred to me one day when we were running late and I was giving my daughter a bath and it was just going about as well as a fussy toddler with an unwanted bath could go. The end of my wits was getting there real quickly, then I came up with a brilliant idea. Sing some damn cocomelon. I used one of the JJ learning songs to show her bath time is fun and she sang back to me with glee and did what I asked of her. I became calm because she became calm and bath time finished and we got to where we needed to be. Late, but calm. Sometimes that's the best we can do. This doesn't work every time, nothing does, but I've had a lot more success with that then hollering and impatience. Kid's love to be taught, and they love it when we position ourselves on their level in order to do it. Sometimes it's nice when there are shows that do that for us, or at least show us how we can.

_Cons-

• So, now that we got all my nice words out of the way, the animation! Bleh! Okay, I'm being dramatic again, it's not abysmal, but my goodness is it stilted. This has gotten much better since it first began, and I really can't be too harsh on it as humble beginnings on YouTube is not an easy place to start. However, there's been a LOT more money thrown it's away from Netflix, and those people will over produce the hell out of anything. The animation should have gotten a lot better than what it is now. Now, I know a huge reason for that is in the models they used. When you create and showcase original characters with wonky 3D models, it's difficult to adjust those models without taking away what makes them special. So, I can live with the logic of human being's heads literally shrinking as they age, as unsettling as it is.

• However, I am most unsettled by JJ himself. Not entirely his character design, but the ambiguity of him. I lost quite a bit of steam one day by attempting to discern his age through context clues. Physically, he looks about 1 or so due to him only having like two teeth and some of the stock sounds they use for him being those of an unmistakable infant. But then he has a couple segments in which he ages out of his own crib, walks very well, rides a bike, uses the potty, and goes to preschool. So he'd have to be somewhere around 2 to 2.5. But THEN his vernacular is incredibly advanced, as he is able to sing and pronounce most words with ease, as he is voiced by an older child. So maybe he's like 5?! With a head twice the size of his own parents and a vocabulary as advanced as his own siblings, I'm just over all off put by this kid. He reaches a bit too deep into the uncanny for me. Most of the other toddlers have this issue as well, some of them having voice actors that do not match the body they're possessing at all. One of those babies sounds older than me!

• You ever just listening to some Cocomelon in your car and a cover of a familiar song comes on and it's just ridden with horrendous sound editing so stock sounds over power some lines of the song making it jarring as hell? The use of stock sounds in Cocomelon is just terrible. Adding to that uncanny valley, and ruining perfectly good songs, they're literally everywhere. This was the first aspect of this show that I genuinely hated, as it's completely unnecessary and throws off one of my actual favorite parts! Watching it, it doesn't come across quite as bad, but listening blindly gets old real quick, and that's honestly a shame.

At the end of the day, the only real issues I have with Cocomelon are products of his own initial creation. It started off small and while I think there could be more done, the overall work put into making this a cohesive children's show is pretty indicative of the dedication the creators have to teaching and singing for children. While it may seem like it when your Christmas list is loaded with no end in sight, Cocomelon isn't just a cheap cash grab marketing off of babies. It's a real piece of work trying to show kids how life works and how family and friends are there to help them through it. I'll give this show an 8/10 for dedication and care. Again, if you disagree you are valid, and it's totally okay. Go ahead and drink some tea and forget you read this whole thing. You deserve it ❤️

Credit to Netflix for the photos.