Hey Everyone!
I spent some time after christmas just stepping a bit away from everything. It had gotten really difficult to find time to post and honestly I don't know that it will be any easier now. With the holidays over, I had only a short time left at home with my kiddos before my Maternity/Parental leave ended and I had to return to work. Which means my sweet kids had to return to daycare. This break turned out to be a little longer than I expected it to be, but I am hoping to be back in the swing of things soon.
If all goes well I have plans for a Birthday Party post, a working day routine post, and, fingers crossed, a successful potty training post. So I hope you stick around for my slow but steady return to posting.
I am officially a hard working, bacon buying, bread winner again, as opposed to my previous title of hard working, bacon frying, child rearing, keeper of all things hearth and home. It is not an easy change, emotionally, financially or physically. I am worn out.
Everyone likely has a different experience of this and a different preference. I have been a stay at home parent and a working parent off and on at various stages of my life. I will say this. I feel I work harder everyday when I stay at home with my kiddos then when I am working out of the house. I would still choose to be there rather than anywhere else, most of the time at least.
Whether you find yourself most fullfilled staying home or chasing down your career dreams, we all love our kiddos. Either way, some days will feel like it's worth every ounce of effort and others you'll wonder why you even try. So far, I am enjoying being back at work, it's nice to be able to focus on a single task and bring it to completion. I do miss my kiddos though, and I wish I had even a little more time with them.
Going back to work is hard for me, I would much rather be with my family, as exhausting as it may be, then away from them. But there are some positives, for example, the quiet and mostly well behaved atmosphere of my office, gives me some much needed time to think. I am able to listen to audiobooks on my commute which is such a tank filler ( even while it empties the one in my car).
There are downsides too. The work around the house, doesn't go away and there is no magic solution. The days are still long, they start earlier and end later. I still need to do laundry and dishes and housework and child care and quality time, but I have fewer hours to fit it all in. (Don't go blaming my husband for this, he does dinners a lot of days, but he works too so he has no more time than me.) Then there is the cost of working, the gas, the parking, the car maintenance, the extra caffeine required, the time lost, the child care. Oh my word, the child care....
For the record I would not devalue the work done by our daycare providers in any way. They care for my children when I cannot and they deserve every penny I pay them, probably more. That being said, wow. It is a sharp kick in the ribs when you realize how much of your paycheck ends up going to childcare. After a little math though, we are still better off with the extra paycheck then we are without so it's back to work I go.
I waffled a lot about my return, I was not very happy there when I left. I was 9 months pregnant, suddenly working from home with a thrown together set up and a toddler with no more daycare during a pandemic, so that may have had something to do with my mood too. Either way, I was not sure I even wanted to go back. I am pleased to say that so far, things have been a lot better than I expected. The entire atmosphere seems happier and healthier. I am very hopeful that this is a change that lasts, I don't want to spend so much of my day miserable anymore.
The pandemic changed a lot of things, and I think with a little effort we can hopefully keep some of the good ones. I do think that expectations in the workplace have been experiencing a much needed shift. I know my expectations have changed. I require a lot more from my employer in regards to quality of life changes. Gone, I hope, are the days of being expected to put "the company" first. Nobody in their right mind ever did and we shouldn't be expected to pretend. I think it's time to put the employee first, I'm hoping the pendulum is swinging that direction for a change.
I haven't been back at work long yet, and I don't know how to expect this to play out yet, but I think we are starting to find a new routine. My son and daughter are really thriving at daycare, now that they are finally getting some much needed social interaction with other kids. Hopefully I'll be back to picture taking and posting more soon.
I hope you've all had a great start to the year!