One of my dad's favourite sayings was life is a journey of twists and turns, trials and tribulations; He often said it in a reflective manner and in respect of his own life when looking back at it. I never saw it as a negative statement, more an acknowledgement of the fact that sometimes life is good and sometimes bad, and what makes the difference to how one feels about it is one's attitude. For the record, my dad was one of the most positive thinking people I have ever met.
Twists and turns
Dad was certainly right in this and I've had my share of them too; Not evenly balanced though, as I've walked far more positive paths than negative, but when those negative ones present themselves they've often seemed like, and been, major roadblocks.
This year hasn't been a great for many of us, however for my wife Faith and I the last two have been quite difficult.
Two years ago Faith's mum was diagnosed with, and had surgery for, cancer. Six months of intensive chemotherapy followed during which time she almost lost her life. She convalesced though and has gone through each of her three-monthly scans well...Until last week.
A secondary cancer has been found on her latest scheduled scan and in the next two weeks a series of further scans will be conducted so the medical team can offer options moving forward. She'll have a positron emission tomography (PET) scan and an MRI scan plus a few others that will permit the doctors to recommend the right course of action which we've been told is almost certainly going to be more surgery.
This is not the news we wanted to hear of course, however knew that the a secondary cancer could potentially pop up. We found out about this new development last Friday and I'll be honest, it's been very disappointing news which has left us both feeling less than upbeat.
Navigating the twists and turns
We have had bad news before of course, and have also both lost a parent to cancer in the past, my mother at 59 years old and Faith's dad when he was 33 years old. There's been other tough times too which, at the time, seemed almost too much to bear, but here we are still standing.
Faith and I talked about this over the weekend and I thought I'd share some with you; Some of the reasons we have not been broken.
We believe our togetherness is one of the main reasons we've coped with adversity when it has struck. We are a team with one element depending intrinsically on the other. There's been times when this condition has not been present and, I'll be honest, things didn't go so well. Teamwork is the only way to go for us and within that is respect, understanding, compromise and a whole lot of effort. Love and passion for the oter makes it easy for us to be this way.
One of the other important elements has been the ability to detach. I don't mean that we forget or ignore the issue at hand, just that we have the ability to step aside for a moment, take time to pause or break from the matter.
We did this on Sunday actually, and you can read the post here if you like. That detachment allows breathing room and also reminds us what life is all about. It's often not something big, just something meaningful, that reconnects us, draws us closer together, brings happiness and a few moments of peace. It could be a little dinner at a restaurant, a night around the fire pit at home or a drive to the country like on Sunday...The only rule is that we don't talk about the troubles we face for that that time. We detach from it.
Moving forward
Naturally there comes a time when we need to re-engage, to face the adversity head on and plot a course forward. I've heard people say that sometimes it's difficult to maintain a firm focus on the issue but for us we don't have that problem; We simply get back on point and I think the detachment process allows us to do so more readily. We sort of hop from point to point interspersing the bad stuff with good. A pretty simple concept.
Staying completely within a problematic scenario may seem like the best way to move it to a resolution however in my opinion it is not. It is fatiguing and wears on a persons nerves and ability to think straight; One can feel they are overwhelmed. A small pause, finding one's centre, can make one much more productive in seeking resolutions and, of course, in maintaining one's own health both physical and emotionally.
Life is a journey of twists and turns, trials and tribulations - G-dog's dad
Yes dad, it certainly is and I wish you were here to take that journey with me now, as you did in the past...But you are not. I listened when my dad spoke but it's the first three words that I constantly remind myself of the most though.
Life is a journey
We all live our lives differently, experience many different things, act and react differently to them however one thing is common to us all; We have a beginning, a middle and an end.
I think what matters is that we move through our lives the best we can, live the best we can and be the best versions of ourselves as often as possible. This is the case in good and bad times. Our attitude is what helps us do this and I believe that taking some time to detach from one's adversity, even briefly, will positively affect one's attitude.
Faith and I have a journey ahead, yes another one, the destination of which is obscured from sight; I know we will walk the path together though, making the best decisions we possibly can and supporting the other, and of course Faith's mum, to the best of our ability.
I'm interested to hear what you guys and girls think though. Have you had similar situations where you've been faced with terrible adversity? How have you dealt with it, what actions did you take and how did they affect the outcome, and your own well-being. Feel free to share below.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised.
Be well
Discord: galenkp#9209
The image, taken by me, is a path Faith and I walked in Finland not so long ago.