Many times, we lack the discipline to do what we are supposed to be doing and we blame it all on the lack of motivation, other times, we lack the motivation to do what would make us disciplined.
Oh wait, is it one and the same?
Do we use these words so loosely that even we do not know what it is that we lack. Or is it my lack of understanding of these words, that I am unable to pick up after myself on days I am falling off this bandwagon?
I speak for myself here when I say that many a times, it is just the motivation, the sheer will, the drive, the determination to make us more disciplined, and with discipline comes a routine, that has no place for lack of motivation. This is that vicious cycle, that I seem to fall off completely and find it slightly harder than most to get back on the tracks. Followed by bouts of that remorse feeling, the self-pity, the anger. I need to deal with this demon at the earliest.
Should I say those affirmations before I go to bed or kick my ass off until I get things done. This is a part of my self-development that I am working on for the past few days. I have made an honest list of what is draining my energy and leaves me with the lack of motivation that I need to succeed.
I am an early riser, but I just sit and stare into space. I create scenarios in my head and live them for the moment. Now, we all know when we start creating scenarios, they are not necessarily the most pleasant ones. And maybe just dealing with my scenario leaves my exhausted with little to no energy to accomplish my goals for the day. Some days, my mood changes based on the little theatrical performance I have created in my head.
I get bored of the same routine. Or should I say I am demotivated to do what I did before and what I did the day before that. One day that I am off the tracks, I beat myself further down, and now you can imagine the dramas that I create in my head getting more depressing and sadder.
I wouldn’t say I am a depressed or a sad person in general. But when it comes to things that needs to be done for the day, the things that I would like to achieve for myself, I am saddened by the thoughts that I am no where close.
- I am so concerned with how others would think of me. Now, I am not referring to just family and friends, it could be a random stranger I said hello to - how would they judge me, how would they judge what I want to achieve, how do they judge my opinions, simply put – my way of being.
Yeah, now these add to my little scenario creating sessions throughout the day. And let me tell you where this leads to, more self-pity, self-doubt.
Now, if I had the discipline to stay committed no matter what one might think or say, would I not be better off. If I had the drive to get past the scenarios in my head and focus on the real now, would I be more motivated to get going.
The internet is a mysterious thing, and I am going to use it as a tool to help me get over what anyone thinks, well you get the point right. I hide behind the comfort this veil of computer and start publishing on articles, so I can be heard and say what I have to say, silence these scenarios in my head and help me pick up after myself and march on straight ahead.