Self Care isn't Selfish
Today, as I write this, it's Sunday - hence the title - but self-care isn't something we do when we have free time. It doesn't have to be limited to a 2 hour space you allot yourself at the weekend when you're not busy doing. Self-care and self-love is a way of being, that gradually increases with good habit setting, commitment to self, and having FUN!
There is a big difference between doing something out of a sense of obligation and doing something because it lights you up. Sometimes self-care looks like just saying no to things that don't inspire you.
Playfulness is key. Lightness is imperative. If you have to force yourself to go to the gym, if it fills you with dread every time you think about it, or if you feel shame or guilt for not going - I'd suggest taking a break from it, or even finding another way to honour your temple - your body. Societal conditioning can leave you feeling "bad' if you don't follow those rules.
But Whose Rules Are They Anyway?
What works for one, may well not work for another, but whatever self-care and self-love feels good for you, do that! As you start to commit to yourself, your habits get healthier anyway, so don't start by making yourself feel bad, putting pressure on yourself, or comparing yourself to others. If you go on social media and look to all the trending "influencers" you'll be presented with a representation of the herd mentality, with fads coming and going, the new next best thing, and impossible and unrealistic ideas of perfection that simply do not exist. Carrot and stick methods are exhausting. Why punish yourself anyway? What IS that? Following the external will get you feeling exhausted, because it's not watering your own soul. Sure, it's great to find inspiration in others, but we are all unique and we aren't supposed to be CARBON copies. There is a reason why we say people are SLAVES to fashion....... Be your own leader.
Follow your own heart.
What makes you smile? What makes you laugh? What makes you cry? (YES letting out ALL emotions is vital for a healthy mind, body, soul trifecta!) What feels good for you? What lights up your soul?
We spend so much time focusing on scheduling chores, work stuff, and things that we do for other people, but how much "ME TIME" do we schedule? And when I say "ME TIME" I mean things that improve yourself and focus inward - your body, mind, or soul - or maybe all three. And maybe, if the answer is very little, you could schedule it in for just a short time everyday until it just becomes part of your being. You don't go from some kind of abandonment of your own needs to flowing with self-love and self-care overnight. It's a process. And it's a FUN and LIGHTHEARTED process. Ditch the fear, the shame, and the guilt.
Ditch the Negative Self-Talk
Sure, binge-watching TV 10 hours straight or spending hour upon hour on social media isn't the most beneficial thing for you. All the focus is outwardly and we tend to zone out and disassociate from reality with doing this, often eating unhealthy snacks mindlessly and focusing only on external things. BUT there is no shame in doing so. It's just that if you wrote down what your highest timeline looked like, or imagined it in your mind's eye, I'm pretty sure binge watching TV, social media, and junk food isn't it (but maybe it is and that's OK.) And all the time we do those things we tell ourselves we can't have that highest timeline. We can't do or be what we want.
I use tv, social media, and junk food only as examples, but we all have - or have had - habits that drain us rather than sustain us. Those 10 hours of binge watching or scrolling whatever could be used to light up your life. It's a change in perspective, rather than resistance to anything. Eat the bag of crisps, have a couch potato day. You will be fine, but also commit to what you want to see in your life. We are the creators. To not believe that is to not fully believe and trust in yourself.
The truth is that we are our own saviours. We are here to awaken to that fact - that we create our own reality (our own personal reality). Step by step, gradually, as we awaken, as we heal, as we step into who we truly are, as we embody our true selves - our authentic selves - we evolve the whole of this plane(t). We raise the vibration and let love in more and more. We can let love - and particularly self-love - guide us through our hearts. What do you love doing for yourself? How do you most like being? What things bring out the happiest and most fulfilled version of you? Be honest and let that guide you.
When I started this post I intended it to be about what my self-care looks like, but it morphed into something else entirely. I'll probably follow up with one like that but for now, I'll put it over to you. What does your self-care and self-love look like?
I'd love to hear what lights you up. When people talk about those things, something changes inside them. When we follow those things, we change our lives forever in a positive way.
Much love,
Marley and Me xxx
P.S. Marley understands self-care
For more from me about self-care, healing, nature and more you can follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/wisdomofagypsyheart/
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All images made in Canva