Growing up in rural Ontario in the 80s, we didn't have a lot of entertainment options.

Sure, we'd watch whatever was on our single channel during dinner, or occasionally rent a VCR from the IGA along with a couple tapes from the paltry selection you'd expect from a small grocery store in a town with a population of 1300. But TV wasn't really as big a part of my formative years as it was for so many of my peers, like the people who actually lived in that town.

_{Source: KlingAI}

Instead I'd spend much of my leisure time reading books, drawing, and programming unsavable programs on my garage sale Timex-Sinclair TS-1500 computer. Often, those books were comic books. And more often than not, those drawings were superheroes. It's been a while, but I'm pretty sure I could still bust out a pretty decent Spidey or Lobo or Wolverine.

MCU ASSEMBLE!

I always dreamed of making movies in the Marvel universe, even going so far as to cast everyone in my grade 7 class in their perfect X-Men role, and dedicating way too much time to trying to build a set of retractable claws to get a jump on the special effects. Needless to say, that never happened. But as I grew up I never lost my love for the magic of comics and managed to catch most of the pre-MCU Marvel movies in theatre. I loved Ang Lee's 2002 Hulk with Eric Bana, and I love loved Bryan Singer's excellent X-Men movies, and I love love loved Sam Raimi's Spiderman films.

So when Iron Man hit the Big Screen I was ready and eager to see Brat Pack trainwreck Robert Downey Jr take on the role of billionaire Tony Stark. Although to be fair, I didn't really know too much about his controversial image at the time (and Bob knows enough has been written on that topic already), I just knew that Weird Science on VHS was one of the greatest movies of all-time.

_{Source: IMDb's Weird Science page}

I've seen all the MCU movies - most of them several times - but now that I'm playing RavenQuest I wanted something to occupy my second monitor during the grindier parts of the game so I figured it would be a good time to run the whole batch again. I used to love the Run The Series features on AVClub back in the day so I thought I'd give something like that a shot with a franchise I'm already super familiar with.

Enter MCU ASSEMBLE!, my totally biased journey through every MCU movie in chronological order.

I Am Iron Man

We're more than 15 years past the flashpoint on what became a Multi-Billion Dollar Juggernaut - owing much to the charm and charisma of our diaper-headed wunderkind pictured above - but it's easy to see the bones of what was to become. Somehow, Iron Man nailed the MCU formula from the jump: witty banter, just enough emotional gravity, and some absolutely killer action setpieces.

Directed by Jon Favreau - aka Gutter from PCU, who also plays Tony Stark’s loyal driver/bodyguard Happy Hogan - Iron Man wasn’t just the first movie of a franchise, it was a perfect blueprint for years to come.

Realistically, Iron Man from the comics was never really anyone's favorite. The Black Sabbath tune aside, he was always pretty much the ultimate B-Lister. Like if you had a choice between a Wolverine comic, a Punisher comic and an Iron Man comic, I know which one you wouldn't be bringing home. But somehow Favreau convinces us that not only is Iron Man cool, he's the freakin' coolest.

I don't know what everyone was expecting exactly, but it certainly managed to touch a nerve. Maybe it was the rawness of it and the fact that no one really knew what they were doing yet. Or maybe people were already tired of the super-cynicism of the Nolan-verse and ready to laugh again. Or maybe it was just that moment when Stark lumbers out of a cave in Afghanistan in the Mark I, all fire and metal and righteous rage.

That Mark I suit reveal? Still one of the coolest moments in all of Marvel film history.

_{Source: Iron Man (2008)}

The Bald and the Beautiful

Robert Downey Jr absolutely just drops a clinic as Stark, walking a line between arrogant genius and wounded man-child in a way that really defined what a Marvel hero would look like. Which is to say a powerful but flawed character with sex appeal and a quick wit. That's the premise of pretty much every person, except maybe that spastic chick from Ant-Man 2, but I won't be surprised if even she cracks at least one joke when I watch that in a few weeks.

I absolutely adore Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts, and despite what you think of her freaky vagina candles, she was perfectly cast as his assistant and future love interest even if they don't really explore that until Iron Man 2. Although, that incredibly touching moment where she has to stick her hand in his chest cavity and pull out the goop-covered mess of wires and metal?

That's what real love looks like.

Then we have our 'monster of the week', in this case Obadiah Stane, played by Jeff Lebowski... er, Bridges. The bald and bearded Bridges brings surprising menace to what could’ve easily been an over-the-top mustache-twirling role. While he's obviously having a ton of fun chewing scenery, yelling about arc reactors, and being a double-dealing no-goodnik, he stays grounded enough that he still seems like a real person.

_{Source: Iron Man (2008)}

We also can’t ignore how slick the technology looks throughout. So much awesome tech in this movie. From the epic hologram computer he uses to create his designs, to the HUD that frames RDJ’s head inside the suit, to Jarvis and his army of sometimes helpful robots - technology takes center stage for a good chunk of the running time and with great effect. Watching the various parts of the suit snap together and lock with spinning servos while the camera gets right in there is so damn cool it makes me want to go back to school just to figure out how to build one myself.

Later MCU films lean into this too, to varying degrees, but Iron Man proved right out of the gate that audiences can be just as hyped for slick design and gadgetry and humor as they are for dark, brooding, gritty antiheroes. Say what you want about later MCU, but Iron Man didn’t just kick off a new era for Marvel, it made superhero movies fun again.

And Bob knows, we sure needed it.

_{Source: Iron Man (2008)}

Potent Quotables

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"I'm sorry, this is the Fun Vee, the Humdrum Vee is back there."

"Pepper, I've been called many things, nostalgic isn't one of them."

"I'm Agent Phil Coulson with the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division."

"A little ostentatious, don't you think?"
"What was I thinking? You're usually so discreet."
"Tell you what. Throw a little hotrod red in there."
"Yes, that should help you keep a low profile."

"If you douse me again and I'm not on fire I'm donating you to a city college."

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My Personal Ranking

As I go through all the movies over the next several weeks, I'll keep a running tally of where they fit in my personal spectrum of best and worst of all the MCU offerings. Feel free to join in the conversation down below, I love seeing other people's lists!

Since this is just the first one from me, the results are pretty clear:

Rank	Movie	Year
#1	Iron Man	2008

*Note: If you do comment your ranking list, do not feel like you need to restrict it to just this single entry.

Next week: It ain't easy being green, especially if you're Edward Norton in The Incredible Hulk (2208)