The group that participates in our little collection of films has some quirky tastes and one of the guys in there really enjoys adding horror films that are based off of Intellectual Property that the various copyright or whatever it is called holders can no longer sue people for using the name or likeness of. This is why there have Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, and now Popeye productions that don't have and don't need the permission of the owners in order to make a film about it.
For the most part, these films have almost zero budget and completely lack in any sort of thing that could be considered competent acting and that is exactly what I expected when I fired this one up yesterday afternoon. Let's just say that it wasn't what I was expecting. I mean, it is still bad, but not in as terrible a way as I was thinking it would be.
src
When my buddy told me that this was on our server now, he included so many emojis that I figured he had already seen it and was luring me into some terrible trap where I was going to have to endure something truly terrible kind of like those characters in MST3K (A show that I absolutely love). So I was kind of surprised when the opening sequence happened and it seems to have been shot with pretty decent quality cameras, a director that at least kind of understands the craft, and real locations and not just some crudely made set that the actors themselves put together with discarded art supplies.
src
So the story goes like this, as if a story for a B-horror film was actually necessary: Some girl who is reasonably attractive is being chased by some thugs who are diverse enough to appeal to Hollywood's standards. When these guys corner her in some dilapidated warehouse at the coast, they think they are going to have their way with her because she "stole their coke." Then, when they are getting ready to abuse her with these really stupid grins on their faces, they see a solitary can of spinach roll out of the shadows.
src
I had to laugh out loud for real when this happened because I thought it was such a wonderful way for the people making this movie to laugh at themselves for having such an absurd story. When the thugs notice that there is someone there, they do exactly what you expect thugs to do and that is to tell the hobo that he's gonna get messed up if he doesn't piss off. Well, our hobo just happens to have forearms the size of tree trunks and has super human strength because of the spinach I guess.
src
The Slayer Man then proceeds to kill all of them in a horrifying manner including the woman who thought he was there to save her. As it turns out, Popeye has no allies in this and honestly just wants everyone to stay the eff out of his damn warehouse and leave him to his spinach.
He throws out one liners from the show every now and then such as "I am what I am" and well, if you watched the cartoons as a kid at all, this is hilarious.
There are a ton of horror movie tropes here that will make any horror historian proud such as tough guys thinking they will have an easy time with Popeye just because they work out a bunch and have military experience. Of course, all of them meet a gruesome end.
src
I do like this particular tough guy because he's like the older guy in the gym that tries to be a mentor to other younger people that are stronger than he is. I suppose the director went looking for a budget big guy and that is exactly what they got.
There is a story about why people are going to this warehouse beyond just happening upon it but honestly, none of that really matters. What this film is about is kind of a Saw sort of experience where the real question about what is about to happen isn't the why or who but the how. We know really early on anytime that anyone encounters the Slayer Man, that they are going to die, it is just a question of how gruesome and torturous that death is going to be.
Since this film likely had a very small budget, I have to say that I am pretty damn impressed with how they pulled this off.
The other horror standard from the 80's that they do time and time again and I absolutely love it, is when women are running away from him inside the warehouse (why are you there?) and the put a bit of distance between them and the very slow moving Popeye and rather than continuing to the door that the presumably remember the location of, the instead "hide" around a corner breathing as heavily as an out of breath Silver-back gorilla.
src
Then when he comes around the corner or does some sort of magical bullshit teleport to the other side, instead of running again they immediately fall down on the ground making his job even easier.
What is the point of all of this? Well, your guess is a good as mine. I think it is obvious that they are going for an easy payday based on the name recognition and the fact that they got there first. I don't even know how this would ever get into cinemas and if it does, it would be some sort of regional thing that only a certain group of people would even have the most remote interest in. For me, I loved it, but that was because I had intended for it to be bad, I was just kind of impressed that it wasn't a LOT worse than it actually is.
Should I watch it?
For most people this is going to be a hard pass because it isn't a great film and that the thing, it isn't trying to be. There are dozens, perhaps hundreds of movies made like this every year that are meant to be campy and funny more than they are actually scary. The difference here is that these guys seemed to have enough money to make the kill scenes actually look pretty convincing. Let's not forget that Saw had a minuscule budget and went on to make billions over the course of way-too-many sequels.
This one will almost certainly be a one-off until the next person comes along and decides to use the now free-to-use portrayal of Popeye in some other horror film.
I appreciate the creativity and how the film isn't afraid to make fun of itself and all the crazy horror situations that have come before. For me it was fun, but unless you have some sort of attachment to 80's horror the way that I do, this is not going to be entertaining for you.
You can legally stream this film on Fandango, or Fangoria... there might be more options, but those were the only ones I found easily