Ah, politics! That parallel universe where words mean the opposite, and "evaluating a Bitcoin reserve" translates to "sit tight, it’s never happening". Jim Bianco, Trump’s crypto tsar, cuts through the nonsense: Trump didn’t promise to “evaluate” a strategic BTC reserve… he said he’d create one! But in Washington, “evaluate” is code for burying ideas under piles of bureaucracy. As someone steeped in the crypto world, I can only laugh and keep stacking sats. Did anyone seriously think a real estate tycoon with unpaid debts would understand financial sovereignty?
The Art of Delay: Bitcoin in the Political Freezer
While Trump signs executive orders like they’re autographs at a rally —let me highlight "letting Doge and Elon Musk’s efficiency committee take over the Treasury" (what reality are we living in?)— Bitcoin remains stuck in “preliminary studies”. Bianco nails it: when a politician says “we’ll evaluate”, they really mean “I don’t want to do it, but I need votes”. And Doge? Oh, that’s worthy of immediate action. Because nothing screams “financial seriousness” like a meme with a shiba inu logo.
Here’s the thick of it: Trump, the “America First” king, prioritizes a joke token and a committee led by a CEO who sells flamethrowers over Bitcoin. Why? Simple: Doge doesn’t threaten the banking status quo. Bitcoin does. It’s like a baker negotiating with a dragon: fear of the unknown freezes him. Meanwhile, China quietly hoards hash rate, and El Salvador —that country the press called “poor”— already holds BTC in its reserves. But the U.S., oh glorious leader of the free world, needs to “evaluate”.
Zero-Sum Game: When Politics Meets Crypto Reality
David Honig, negotiation professor, points to another cancer: Trump treats geopolitics like a “I win, you lose” game, much like his real estate ventures. Spoiler: that works for building hotels, not governing. And, surprise, that mindset is the antithesis of Bitcoin. The network isn’t a rug pull where one actor takes all; it’s a collaborative, ownerless system, where success depends on decentralization.
But Trump, used to bank loans and lobbying, will never get that. To him, Bitcoin is just another asset to “win” or “lose”, not a tool of freedom. That’s why his administration moves fast with Doge (joke? distraction?) and drags its feet with BTC: the first is harmless; the second is revolutionary.
And the Bitcoin Community? Oh Yes… Those Annoying Idealists
Meanwhile, bitcoiners watch with a mix of laughter and disgust. Tom Dunleavy tries to spin it: “Hey, at least Bitcoin’s being talked about in government!”. But folks, talking isn’t adopting. A politician mentioning Bitcoin is like a vampire talking about sunscreen: interesting, but suspicious.
Here’s the crux: Bitcoin doesn’t need validation from any Trump, Biden, or Bianco (the “crypto tsar” who sounds like a Marvel character). Its value lies in being immune to political egos. While they “evaluate”, the network keeps processing blocks, miners keep securing transactions, and we keep escaping inflation with a currency no one can confiscate.
If You Want Laughter, Look at Politics; If You Want Freedom, Look at Bitcoin
Bianco’s right: promising to “evaluate” is the coward’s surrender before the battle even begins. Trump could go down in history as the president who adopted Bitcoin… but he’d rather be the one who “studied it” while losing the financial race of the 21st century.
In the end, as a wise bitcoiner would say: “Don’t trust, verify”. And while politicians play hide-and-seek with their promises, we’ll keep running nodes, guarding our private keys, and reminding them that Bitcoin isn’t negotiated… it’s used.
Pro tip? If a candidate promises to “evaluate” Bitcoin, ask if they’ll also “evaluate” stopping dollar printing. The answer will tell you everything.
PS: If Trump really wants to impress, he should pay one of his legal fines in BTC. Now that would be a “strategic move”. The next time a politician talks about "Bitcoin reserves," remember: the only stockpile that matters is the one in your hardware wallet.
- Note: Image created with AI on the Huggin Face web platform.