Background
You see after suffering the whole 2023 year I had expectations maybe, maybe this year would be good. Little by little taking small steps I would force myself to improve. Things were going bad but still, I kept hoping thinking its just in my mind, but It wasn't. Who knew what was waiting for me?
Let's start from 6 months ago, after various hard situations still standing stronger I finally graduated, even though I didn't have the slightest happiness.
After that I was giving interviews in search of jobs, these last six months I was giving interviews, and for some other reason, I was getting rejected.
apart from my personal life difficulties, this professional life is taking a toll on me. I things weren't going smoothly even for one day, sometimes, the company didn't receive my resume, or they required a job for a remote location, sometimes they didn't got an application, also I not being a perfect candidate.
Something or another problem I was coming in my way, still I was still forcing myself to wake up and attend new interviews as of right now, the financial situation of my family is the worst of all time.
25 Jan 2024
While using an old broken smartphone for 2 years I finally took a new smartphone for my studies about 6 months ago. We took that mobile on a loan while paying monthly EMI. But today what happened has completely shaken me.
Today was my scheduled interview, I was anxious about leaving my home to the company. As I don't have a private vehicle I chose public transport while standing and waiting for my Bus, a child asked me what the time and it was 10:30, the bus had arrived and as soon as I entered the bus, I checked my pocket for mobile but I couldn't find it. I double-checked, triple-checked it but it was missing.
I exited the bus and looked around until I finally realized someone had stolen it. I quickly asked someone to call my phone. It rang a few times but after that, the robber switched off the phone. This was the moment it hit me I lost my recently bought mobile, which we were looking for on loan, which has still EMIs to pay, all my data, all my photos, my documents, and my precious phone, it's lost now.
I couldn't digest it, my vision got blurred, my sight started turning all things yellowish color, and all sounds became amplified those construction work sounds, some bell sounds. I felt like vomiting and feeling was about to faint. I sat down for some moment and I became a bit normal. I don't know what I was feeling at that time, is it a panic attack? anxiety attack? idk.
As soon as I got a bit normal, I visited the nearest police station to file a complaint, but they were least interested in it. After a bit of hassle, they took the complaint and told me it was found they will call me. I don't have any expectations from them seeing their behavior. I tried good find my phone and every other possibility to find my phone but it wasn't turned on.
I am completely blank now, this was the day I cried, I don't know after how many years. I guess I have to live with it, The little steps I took for success just slapped me ground. I am feeling like I am cursed, nothing seems to turn out good. I have realised this is my life, there is no bright day in it and I just have to suffer it till end.
Sorry for this depressing story but this is my life right now, I just have to talk this out.
Yours faithfully
CyberCrypto