Yes, I got into crypto when Coinbase only listed those 3 tokens.
Hm yes so right off the heels of Coinbase being listed on the S&P 500 index they seem to be the victim of a pretty significant data breach. I saw a rumor that the attackers were demanding $20M and Brian Armstrong fired back saying he'd spend the $20M to hunt them down instead. Coinbase is playing hardball it seems, or at least pretending to on the forward face of the issue.
What got taken?
Rumor has it that the hackers bribed employees to get whatever it is they got.
- Name, address, phone, and email;
- Masked Social Security (last 4 digits only);
- Masked bank-account numbers and some bank account identifiers;
- Government‑ID images (e.g., driver’s license, passport);
- Account data (balance snapshots and transaction history); and
- Limited corporate data (including documents, training material, and communications available to support agents).
The Incident did not involve the compromise of passwords or private keys, and at no time were any of the targeted contractors or employees able to access customer funds.
Doesn't look too bad...
the Company has preliminarily estimated expenses to be within the range of approximately $180 million to $400 million relating to remediation costs and voluntary customer reimbursements relating to this Incident, prior to further review of potential losses, indemnification claims, and potential recoveries, which could meaningfully increase or decrease this estimate.
So someone calls you up and says, "Hey this happened," and you're like, "Yeah it probably happened not 100% sure though...", but at the same time you're saying it might cost you $400M? Really? Yeah I guess I just don't understand how that math works out I guess, I guess.
KYC is a joke
These corporations cannot be trusted with our data and the government has no right to demand it, but they do anyway. And then when shit like this happens they're just like whatever deal with it, it's not like we're going to allow to you have financial privacy or something what do you think this is lol lol. Such a joke.
In any case this seems like not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, rather just one of those really annoying reminders of why a lot of us are all in crypto to begin with.
May 12th
What about the S&P 500 listing?
Well it's kind of a big deal because all kinds of zombie money gets funneled into index fund derivatives and such. How many companies on the S&P 500 are just unprofitable garbage piles that should have died a decade ago? Quite a lot honestly. Scary number.
With crypto companies invading the S&P that could really shake things up a bit. This gets gets talked about a lot, but it's unclear just how significant or insignificant it will turn out to be. Seems like Saylor and Strategy might be next on the list though.
I think MicroStrategy (looks like people are refusing to call it Strategy even though the name technically changed) getting listed on the S&P would be a way bigger deal because of how their business operates. MSTR is basically a shitcoin that Bitcoiners have deluded themselves into believing is legitimate. In reality MSTR is just playing all kinds of games with leverage through the convertible bonds mechanics and other financial tricks to throw a Hail Mary on Bitcoin.
So the reason them getting listed on the S&P is that any money that flows into the S&P is basically going to get leveraged up through those same funnels, whereas Coinbase doesn't mess around like that. In fact I find it hilarious to no end that MSTR owns 50x the amount of Bitcoin as Coinbase even though Coinbase has been in the game since 2012. Honestly imagine how embarrassing that must be. Silly.
Conclusion
In any case not much to report here. Coinbase gets the S&P listing and then 3 days later there's a completely unrelated data breach. Pretty crazy stuff. Never dull.