I seem to be stuck in a loop of inaction.

Personally my goal was have a video game company by now... or at least have coded my own basic game on Hive and have a functional product that actually works. To be fair I was actually pretty close to having a working product way back in the day in 2018/2019 with a clone of Cards Against Humanity in the works. If you scroll past the flood of Actifit posts on the @smartasscards account you can see that I was testing it out (I was even starting to do some Android programming with it which was a pretty wild experience, as frontend development isn't really my thing).

It was actually playable (barely) and it was all 100% built through the network's API: meaning I was not running any kind of server to manage the data and it was all 100% piggybacking off witnesses nodes. The data was stored in comments on chain because comments were very easy to retrieve from the API. I also wrote the entire thing in Java (not JavaScript which is completely different) using a wrapper built by some random guy on Hive. Once that wrapping functionality broke and became abandonware I was pretty much SOL. (That's shit-outta-luck not Solana 😎)

That code is still floating around somewhere.

So many unfinished projects and things I'd like to accomplish. Yet so little actual focus and follow-through. Again to be fair there is just so much to learn. Not running my own server or database was like working with both hands tied behind my back. But again there's just too much to learn all at the same time. Learn JavaScript >> then learn how to integrate it with a relational database >> then learn how to integrate that into a website connected to the backend and hosted by some Linux server out there. It's... a lot.

It's kind of like manufacturing any product.

The initial overhead cost is insane. It might take a million dollars to make a single ball-point pen, but then after you've built all the infrastructure it only costs pennies to make the batches that come after the prototyping phase.

And this is really why so many people can't do their own thing and simply have to get a job from a company that already has all the infrastructure up and running. Of course we all know how that works out, as the corporate structure of things comes with a million annoyances and often unsatisfying jobs. Rock meet the hard place. Lucky for me I have this blogging thing going which seems to be working pretty well. It would be nice if everyone had the opportunity to be their own boss but... that just not how the world seems to work at the moment. Maybe crypto can change it one day.

Edictive Games?

What do you think about naming a company after yourself? I'm not 100% comfortable with it as it seems a bit pretentious and lazy, but it sounds like "Addictive Games" so the name just rattles around my brain every so often. Can't seem to shake it.

What kind of games?

Well I have ideas for lots of projects, but as we all know having an idea for something and actually making it happen are two completely different things. The Devil is in the details, and the projects always takes several magnitudes longer to complete than originally anticipated. Small projects seem to have more value than large projects simply because a small project can actually be completed and maintained/upgraded within suitable timeframes.

Like I have an idea for:

• a pseudo-hacking game (Net Ninja)
• a Drug Wars game (Silk Boulevard)
• a turn-based MMORPG (Moon Castle || Castle of the Moon)
• a very weird and purposefully offensive social media game called Simp City
• a MOBA called YOLO (from a very old game called BOLO 1987)
• a strategy game based on ant colonies called Radiant or Civant.

And some of you may notice that I actually don't really talk about these ideas at all because they are so endgame and out of the realm of possibility at the moment that I don't even want to think about them most of the time. At the end of the day these projects are simply too much work to complete on my own and I'd need to hire people to help me. Wen moon, ser?

On another very real level I feel like there's no reason to reinvent the wheel here and there are already a vast number of games out there which are already known to be well-liked and popular that could be adapted to the blockchain. That's why I wanted to start with something super basic like CAH or even my own variant of rock/paper/scissors. But again as I find myself linking back to posts from 2018 and 2019 I'm like wow that's depressing wtf have I been doing since COVID hit in 2020? Time moves differently now I guess.

What's my deal am I lazy or something?

Chronic procrastinator gonna procrastinate.
Want to see the best example?

@edicted/roaring-20-s-generation-alpha-bunker-babies

Fun story:

I just tried to pick some food out of a molar like an ape and a chunk of tooth just shot out of my mouth onto the ground. I think I'm done for today. Fitting, considering the topic at hand. Woof.

LoL yep

Two years ago my molar broke and I have been to the dentist zero times.
Amazingly the tooth doesn't hurt at all or show any signs of degradation.

Ah it was mostly filling anyway to begin with.
Ah I'll just handle that during the bull market.

He said during the middle of the bull market.

Actually I just checked the price and it was the same back then as it is today and crashed to 20 cents in late June. Weird! Hopefully we don't get a repeat of that price action, eh? Then again we spiked to $3.60 six months later so what a wild ride we are on. Never dull.

In any case when the overall mountain that needs to be climbed appears to be insurmountable I suppose I have a tendency to just go all deer-in-headlights, which is obviously not great. Need to working on breaking up all the work and taking baby steps to get things done.

Chronic pain!

I often just chalk up my lack of focus and direction to muh ADHD and executive disfunction issues, and honestly sometimes I forget that there's always this nagging chronic issue in the background. Surely this unrelenting back pain exacerbates my focus issues ten fold... in fact I've already had to get up from this chair 5 times just writing this post to take a break... as it seems to be particularly egregious lately.

I keep telling myself I need to get my ass back to the gym and rig my desk setup with some kind of standing option to mitigate these issues but I just never seem to get around to it. Par for the course I suppose.

Conclusion

Well this post has been a bit of a pity party which is certainly not my preferred style. It's times like these I like to focus on gratitude for everything I've got and come up with some real solutions to slowly dig myself out of whatever hole I inevitably stumble into.

For the most part my goals on Hive haven't deviated so it's nice that there is least some kind of consistency to my chaotic madness. My focus is still on blogging/gaming and trying to support the devs on Hive building out all this critical infrastructure as we grind along. Hopefully I snap out of this whole deer-in-headlights mode soonish and become a bit more productive. Skating along on auto-pilot until my 40th birthday seems like perhaps a bad idea 🤠.