Okay, I'll admit it. I finally lost my cool a bit yesterday.
Throughout all of the tribulation this past few weeks I have been trying to view my setbacks as training, an opportunity to strengthen and practice my principles, to flex my intentionally developed mindset.
It hasn't always been easy. But I mostly persevered.
Until yesterday morning.
I got up, my throat was a mostly swollen mess thanks to my thyroid finally having enough of everything and punishing me for pushing through (like I had a choice) over the last ten days. I mentally acknowledged that I would have to work through the day with that bit of malfunctioning endocrine fun riding along with me. Okay, no problem, been there done that.
I then did my morning workout. That's right, throughout all of this I have stuck with my Valkyrie training, mainly because it's Novice month in the program and most of the workouts are about building core, stretching, and balance, and not a single one is over 25 minutes so far. I've trained enough in my life that a 25 minute workout, especially one with bodyweight, lightweights, and resistance bands is pleasant interlude.
So, workout was completed, cats and dogs were fed, the fire was lit, the coffee was brewing. It was shower time.
I love showers, baths, anything with scalding hot water to be precise. Once I realized there was warm water on this planet naturally (Puerta Vallarta and Hawaii I'm looking at you!), I became a very happy Kat. Anyway, right in the middle of the shampooing my hair ritual, in full Kat-hair is slathered in lather, my hot water went out.
It was the final straw for me. Externally there was not reaction. I stoically went and checked my hot water heater, tried to get it to engage, trouble shooted, etc., all while in possession of a sudsy head of curls.
On the inside I was a raging wildebeest. Here was yet another DANG THING!
I can now say that I have heated up water, two cups at a time, in my microwave and rinsed my hair out. It wasn't that it wasn't fun or really that hard, I am just tired of everything and everyone breaking all at once.
So tired that in that moment, and a short while later when I vented spectacularly to my poor ailing husband (to not at, I made sure he knew I just needed to explode a bit), that I delivered quite a monologue of bitching greatness. I was ready to sell my very valuable home and move somewhere warm, with the massive amount of capital I had to utilize to never deal with any damn thing breaking again. I was tired of my stupid endocrine system being a decrepit snot-waffle of malfunctioning despair, I was over this whole horrid existential timeline and ready to just toss it all!
Then, I took a breath, hugged the hubs who was smiling a bit as I rarely have an outburst and apparently it's cute or something, and got back to work.
Problems and tribulation are a given. I get it, it's part of being alive, and honestly I have retrained my mind to see them more as training rather than bad things. But sometimes I just want to take a gol-darned shower!
I'm sure many, if not most of you can empathize with this. It's nice to have a forum where I can write about what strikes my fancy, and I am so grateful to all of you who have stopped by to comment, upvoted my ramblings, and in general have just been there for me. It truly matters.
