#05
Dear friend,
It rained this night, heavily. I wondered again, what I was doing in Lagos. I am homesick but my guts says I should wait it out, that this place has something for me to learn. There's cold and I have been sneezing but I feel the need to look back before I sleep.
I have been doing some book reviews, reading some collection of short stories, poetry and novels. I have been learning new stuff about writing and business as well. It is a different world entirely, the world of business. I have never been much of a business person and each time people, for one reason or the other, thought to invest their money in a business with me, I have discouraged them because I lacked faith in my ability to manage a business.
My biggest issue with business is that I am too trusting. I trust a man or woman to say what they mean and mean what their and to keep their word. I trust them to have my best interest at heart. Now I know that, especially the latter, is not possible but I let appearances deceive me. I let the smile, the offer of friendship confuse me. It as always been so. This reason alone makes it difficult for me to be a business man. I will be cheated each and every transaction I do.
How does one find the bone to be selfish enough to want something and go after it in spite of how it will make the next person feel? And if not in that way, is there an alternative way to getting what one wants that is not hinged on denying another something?
It is my dream to one day own a place for creatives to learn, be free to explore the limits of their imagination, to create masterpieces of art and literature. To do this, I must be ready to manage people and resources. This is one skill I have found difficult. Not because of incompetence but simply because I hate to hurt people's feelings. When I see a man or woman feeling blue and I might be the cause, I feel terrible. Do I need to cut the bone out to be a better manager or is there another way?
Another issue that makes starting a business a chore is my attention span. I lose interest for things rather fast. This happens especially if I face continual difficulty in getting things done. The moment I start meeting roadblocks, I give up and the next thing, I'm off to something else. For me to stick with an idea, I need to be passionate about it and passion is something almost alien to me. How do I find passion? What things am I passionate about or can I find the fire to pursue a dream from another place?
Business demands labour even though the axiom, work smart not hard, is the common one these days. No matter how smart one has to work, one still has to roll the sleeves and do the grunt work from time to time. I detest physical labour as long as it is not writing. I would do it if I have to but I do not like it. It drains not just my physical energy which is limited but also my mental energy, making it difficult for me to concentrate. This means that if I am to do business in the future, I either have to get people who will do the grunt work or there wi be no business to run.
The last difficulty I have with starting and owning a business is money. From finding capital which I cannot trust myself to source for because I fear losing people's money to being a spendthrift, who buys spontaneously and finally, being used to being broke for too long, I don't know how to behave around money. It is sad to see really that I can't maintain a clear account of how I spend money. How can I then run a business given these tendencies and these fears?
A business needs someone who is willing to make the sacrifice, I'm not that guy. So if you are thinking of making me the manager of your firm, I suggest you look for another. But if you insist that I am the one who you need in your firm, what do you think I should know, to ensure I survive?
📸: pixabay
Yours always,
Osahon(warpedpoetic)