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I had a meticulously obnoxious friend who did not like to be interrupted when he speaks. He relays all the information he has at heart before giving you an audience to air your view and if you would want to interrupt his flow of ideas, you have to hold on to his last statement to remind him about it when you are done relaying your ideas (which at the time, begged to be relayed and if not, risked to be forgotten).
Sounds like a lot of work right? But I get it. I too can forget my train of ideas if interrupted abruptly though in my case I let it flow and different ideas come to mind. If the other feels that, that train of thought should not be lost; he or she can hold on to your last statement to remind you and keep the conversation going as well as get the desired loads of knowledge.
Unlike my friend, I like logical interruptions as letting a little bit of distraction in a conversation now and then breeds more enlightening ideas.
I was distracted by an article about focus whilst researching about listening and learnt a whole lot from that too. Finding these:
We weren't built for extra long periods of focus. (Focus is a limited resource and it consumes one's energy).
It stated how we as humans are designed to be distracted as well as proving that distractions are good.
Now back to what I was talking about.
” Most people don't listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”Steven Covey
The only way the above statement of my friend can happen and the quote above rebuffed is if we are humble. Yes, I said it- humble.
Why? It only takes a humble person to see that the idea of the other is as important if not greater than mine, hence, a true desire to listen to what the other has to say.
Deep listening occurs when you are committed to understanding the speaker's perspective.
Not listening because I want to find loopholes in what you are saying. (Discriminative listening)
Or listening so I could express to you how I also knew about that idea and prove that, by relaying my take on it. (Baised listening).
A good listener draws out from the speaker a sense of importance and value.
In truly listening we give the speaker an audience to make him/her feel very important, knowledgeable and valuable. So much so that immediately after such a conversation one feels fulfilled (getting a few ideas or so) and learning something new if not ultimately feeling wise.
I struggle with that too because it is biological to want to air your views.
You see that being played out in writing too, although in writing unlike in a verbal conversation one can bear out all or maybe not all (a good chunk) of information one has in mind about a particular topic.
He or she relates to individuals who care to read and a conversation through writing can ensue without the risk of interruption of ideas as earlier described.
A typical example of conversations through writing happens here on HIVE where an article is published and individuals highlight bits of information from the published work to make comments and if those comments are replied a beautiful conversation emerges.
Those bits of conversation interests me a whole lot that after reading a good article of beautiful ideas, I slide down to the comment section and read through good conversations struck. If the urge is strong enough I chip in my little idea.
As my peculiar friend stated. To portray a good listening ear, one has to care about the other's train of thought because every piece of information from the other’s lips is very important and like a newscaster searching for a piece of information from an important ‘interviewee’ you hold on to every word or idea gotten, hence keeping the conversation going.
A GOOD CONVERSATION or a great portrayal of listening skills embodies the following...
- Receiving soaking in the information
- Understanding digesting the ideas relayed
- Remembering as you need a good memory to keep up a good conversation
- Evaluating having a sound thought process and
- Responding relaying your ideas soundly.
Imagine a workspace where there is a free flow of ideas that are truly listened to by employees and employers alike. There will be a constant train of learning from each other and if implemented- massive unrestrained growth can be attained.
What about the implementation of such a skill on HIVE mind-blowing growth eh...
Think about it.
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~Whitney Alexander; a lover of God, life and knowledge; a fashion designer, a part time foodie, a resplendent tutor and a blogger/writer/storyteller in the hive family and loving every bit of it. Thanks for stopping by. Your comments and inputs are very much welcomed. xoxo~