In the UK, Bearmach is a reputable company that sells Landrover parts. We like them. We buy stuff from them all the time. We follow them on Instagram. And this morning, we woke up to this post from them:
I felt a little sick. On one level, I can see the funny. And it's asking why you shouldn't say things to your girlfriend that you'd say to a truck. I'd say quite confidently that Bearmach wouldn't have intended to invite people to offend woman. And I am not without humour. But this is in a public forum, where men happily joke behind their avatars, resulting in comments such as:
'I can load a ton of wood in the back'
'What place are you leaking from this time?'
'Not the prettiest thing but fun to ride'
I started to squirm, and feel a little uncomfortable. And then it got worse:
'15 previous owners, cabs fucked but the chassis is still in good order.'
'Sheβs f*#king filthy'
'I can give her a face lift and fall in love all over again'
'Bit bouncy up front and she wobbles a bit'
'She can take a real beating'
'A nice squirt of lube and of she goes again'
By this time, I was more than uncomfortable - I was almost in tears. Are you kidding me? It's 2021 and we're still making sexist jokes about woman, comparing them to cars? Granted, it's what you shouldn't say to woman. But the implication is that if you know you can't say it, you're clearly thinking it, even in jest. And if you don't think that's wrong, you have a lot of work to do.
To stand up and speak out, however, is not without it's risks - you get branded as a 'snowflake' and not being able to take a 'joke' or being too 'sensitive'.
Please find your country below:
Image Source
The fact that graphs like this exists, let alone graphs labelled 'Percentage of countries where woman believe it's okay for their husbands to hit them' says a lot. Until we stop seeing these graphs, I'd think publically joking about woman and objectifying them in this way is not fucking funny at all. And I'm not the only one - there were at least five guys who commented that this company should get with the times, that it wasn't a good look, that it was misogynistic bullshit. I know they were blokes because I messaged everyone of them for having the courage to stand up against that kind of humour.
And if you think it's funny, and harmless, think of me nearly vomiting as I read it, because I've been a victim of sexual assault, and I know the stories. Think of your daughters, too.
Recently, a petition started online to talk about sexual consent, particularly in a schools context. There are nearly SEVEN THOUSAND TESTIMONIALS from girls who've been subject to sexual assault of some kind, and how it affected them, and how it's normalised in the culture.
Try these one for 'funny', and then if you still think it's not 'that bad', go read the thousands of other stories on this site and imagine this was your mother, your sister or your child. Because it's often only funny until it happens to a woman you love. The examples below are short and mild compared to what I read there last week - this morning, with the sun shining, I can't bear to read them again.
Companies such as Bearmach, with thousands and thousands of followers, have a responsiblity to make it very, very clear that it's not 'okay' to joke about woman in this way. There's many that don't understand the very fine line between having a joke and being part of a culture that sees woman as objects and all that implies.
In 2017, Audi released an ad in China where the mother of the bride inspected the bride as if she was a used car.
Maybe if there wasn't some truth behind ads and jokes like this, woman could ignore it. But in a society where this IS a truth - not just China, mind, who were outraged about it too - but globally. I'm waiting for the 'but it's not all men' comments, and the 'it's just a joke' comments below - but that's like saying 'it's not all cars, so why look left and right when you cross the road' or 'it's not all people, so why wear a facemask at the supermarket' or the fact *men aren't the ones who've been oppressed and subjugated, raped and beaten throughout history', so your 'it's not all men' argument has very little validity. It's not 'all men', granted, but it's enough men, so as a man, you need to NOT partake in it, and say it's not okay.
This article by The Conversation points out a study that found that woman were less likely to enter politics and leadership roles because of the sexist jokes against woman. Sexist and homophobic jokes had the impact of hardening people's attitudes towards the subjugated minority. They also found they were more about male bonding - that it was a group thing designed to stand up against a percieved threat, about in groups and out groups. So if you're the kind of father that makes sexist jokes for 'fun', what do you think your son will do? Will they know the difference between what's okay and what's not okay? Or do you just assume that?
I imagine many parents of the boys who assaulted teenage girls in the petition had nice parents who were just 'joking', but failed to really address the deeper issue about how we talk about woman in society, and that it's a small step indeed between TALKING about woman this way, and acting toward them.
And I'm absolutely sure it's not all of you. Or perhaps it's been you, and you haven't thought about it this way before, or really considered the impact of the sexist jokes you've made in public. That's okay. Let's move on and be better.
With Love,
You can read our other Landrover posts by clicking on any of the links below. Follow us on Instagram @wildtrackdreaming
Landrover Club Meet Up Victoria
Sunday Driving in The Great Otways Park
In Which We Buy A Series 2 and a S3 Military
RedNeck in the Australian Bush: A Landover Horror Story
Buying the 130
Landrover Camper Improvements
Progress on Series 3
Series 3 Restoration Complete
Nut and Bolt Restoration Ending - Series 3
How to Trick Your Wife Into a New Landrover
Series 3 Build Progress
Starting the Rebuild
70th Anniversary at Cooma