Change is inevitable, either it's friendship, any relationship, any bonding or for that matter "the mysterious unpredictable behaviour", but it hurts when you see people change around you whom you have really loved/liked pretty much and/or helped when they needed you, deeply, madly, badly and crazily! Considering them as your integral part.
When it comes from the most unexpected person, it's absolutely devastating. However, nothing much can be done about it. It has to be accepted, come what may.
Its indeed heartbreaking for sure, no matter what kind of involvement had been, when your presence and involvement was deeply appreciated and then there was sudden "lull"!
Above all it's truly painful when you don't get any kind of closure and left to wonder, what could have gone wrong and where! and was it even "my fault at all?"
Let me share a story:
I was working on a project with a company of repute and had significant approach within the company. It so happened that we needed someone reliable for the project module development and were ready to hire someone suitable.
I had this dear friend of mine who was also looking to work and finding a new job, therefore considering his requirement, I approached him for the said position as he seemed to be a good fit for it and in need.
With my reference and confidence in him he was instantly hired and after onboarding process he was ready to work.
I being his friend also acted as his mentor for his smooth transition as I possibly did the best mentoring and guidance one could, quite off and on he would approach me at the times wherever he used to get stuck and I was always more than happy to help him without any inhibitions.
Time passed by and we continued to work together on the said project and completed several sprints that had stipulated timelines. It was all so wonderful both personally and professionally!
Working, eating, bonding, exercising , shopping and delivering on the project timelines together was the agenda that was working smoothly.
Almost after a year and half the project timelines came to an end with project getting completed to the satisfaction of the client.
It was time to find and work on another project somewhere else and therefore the hunt for new task, assignment started for everyone including both of us as well.
Important to mention that while working together and being friends as well, his approach towards me and on the whole has been totally understanding, outstanding, cooperative, empathetic, supportive and very friendly (as expected)
While on a search for new project we used our contacts and resources, he too came with couple of references from his friends.
Eventually he found one and immediately started to work. While I waited for my opportunity to happen.
Now the real story starts... after he started with his new project:
He stopped talking my calls...
No reply to my messages...
Phone remaining either busy or out of coverage...
Above all no callbacks at all...
It was totally shocking, depressing and upsetting at the same time, painful.
I couldn't understand this strange behaviour at all and was totally shocked to see this kind of weird treatment being given to me. It was totally out of my understanding as to why he was doing this to me...I mean you can't be that busy all the time, till you intentionally intend to avoid and/or ignore!
Was he trying to avoid me and the conversation of helping me get onboard the new project?
Was he doubtful of his friendship and professional bond that we had shared earlier?
Was he insecure, If I came onboard he might get tough competition from me within the team?
Was I a threat that he perceived to be without any significant reasons basis his own apprehensions?
Let's say there wasn't another position, still I should have been told/communicated, probably/possibly considering...what if there was another position open, but...
What else it could be?
I couldn't get to know the real reason behind this typically unusual behaviour.
How strange and ironical it is that I knew his needs and requirements, his strengths and weaknesses and continued polishing his abilities and skill-sets but when I needed help he wasn't around, bothered and concerned at all.
This behaviour shocked me to the core, even to date that I literally feel scared helping people for those very reasons.
But anyways I treated this as a new lesson learnt the hard way and possibly not repeat and trying hard to move on from this fairly unusual experience that caused so much anguish and pain.
Anyways...Such is life.! Now I can believe that many would corelate themselves with my story, either way.
However, now I am always ready to realise and affirmatively believe that people around you can suddenly change for sure and one has to be prepared for this in the most practical and realistic manner, it's painful though! but... that's it!!!
Question: What has shocked you about someone you know well and why?
This is my contribution in #weekendexperiences by @galenkp for topic: Weekend-Engagement
Week #264
Thank you,
@amitsharma
Kindly note: All the captures/pictures/images are mine, unless otherwise noted or specified in particular. Thanks!
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