Hello hivers it's my first time participating in the weekly weekend experience here is my experience.
I used to believe that being kind, giving, and selfless was the way to live. I gave my time, my energy, my love without hesitation. I was the one who stayed up late to listen to a friend’s problems, the one who went out of my way to help people, the one who trusted too easily. But you know what I got in return approximately Nothing.
It got to a point that I got used, taken for granted, and betrayed. And the worst part is that The people who took advantage of me never even realized they were doing it Or maybe they did and they just didn’t care, I’ve lost count of the times I’ve trusted people only to have them disappoint me. Friends who only remembered I existed when they needed something. Relationships where I gave my all only to be left empty, Even people from church the ones who preach about kindness and love turned out to be the biggest hypocrites remember not all few person's, Some of the most deceitful people I’ve ever met hid behind religious talk, smiling while they drained me.
SO, I DECIDED TO CHANGE
I stopped giving so much of myself to people who wouldn’t do the same for me. I stopped feeling guilty for saying no, I started putting myself first and for once, I felt free Now people would be saying Anastasia you’ve changed, Damn right, yet it never touches me inside or changed anything, Because where did being soft and selfless get me absolutely Nowhere. I was left drained, watching as the same people I sacrificed for moved on like I never mattered, I used to think greed was a terrible thing. But I got to found out that people who thrives in this world are The ones who take what they want, The ones who prioritize themselves first. Now, I’m greedy for my time I no longer waste it on people who wouldn’t do the same for me.
I’m greedy for my peace I cut off toxic relationships without hesitation, I’m greedy for success, I no longer play small to make others comfortable. Some will call me heartless, Some will say, “That’s not the Anastasia I used to know.” but I wished someone could tell them That Anastasia was exhausted and now She’s finally awake, If you’re out there constantly giving, constantly sacrificing, thinking that one day people will appreciate you wake up, They won’t. People take what you give and keep moving. Protect yourself, Be selfish when you need to be, Be greedy with your energy Because no one will do it for you.
I’ve changed, and I don’t regret a damn thing, but I don't care anyone can go ahead to say what they feels about me.