It had been eating at me... this prompt for days. W/E 78
It's totally late but I had to write it to get it out of my system so that I can let it slide again.
Trigger Warning: Shitty childhood stuff & CPTSD
Option 3: The elimination
IT. WAS. TORTURE. LITERALLY. I sometimes laugh incredulously with my sister "How the fuck did we survive childhood?"
A few weeks ago I started writing a post titled "The Green Icing Monster" and I wrote a few hundred words and then deleted it, thinking she simply doesn't deserve to be remembered - even in a bad way. She doesn't deserve energy spent on her - even negative energy.
So it didn't reach the blockchain. Why should I immortalize her psychological and physical torture of me when I was three or five or ten years old? Surely that should just die along with her? Perhaps it should and I'm sure that people would tell me I should just "let it go".
But when your sibling who is 4 years your senior and twice your size and weight tries regularly to snuff out your existence, bullies you, berates you, terrifies you, abuses you and later in life takes financial advantage of you - disadvantaging not only you, but your innocent daughter as well? Not to mention that she is a psychopath who is only interested in financial gains and not giving a shit about who she bulldozes in the process...
Elimination seems too kind an option.
You see, I would do to her what she did to me all those years. It wouldn't span over years though, but perhaps she needs to be choked out and then revived. Perhaps she needs to be scared shitless constantly with threats and psychological manipulation. Perhaps she should be thrown out of the back of a moving vehicle onto the road at 60kms/hour. Perhaps she should be abused. Perhaps she should have her head smashed open on a cement structure? Scratched, kicked, punched, bitten and possibly poisoned?
God only fucking knows what she inflicted on her son that he would rather live on a beach as a homeless person than have any association with her.
And when she posts Instagram photos of the 4 anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers, 1 anti-depressant and various pain killers she takes daily, who exactly is she trying to impress or is she trying to intimidate?
YOU DON'T SCARE ME ANYMORE YOU CRAZY BITCH.
JUST REMEMBER - THE PRESCRIPTION PERIOD DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE AND CRIMINAL CHARGES CAN BE FILED AT ANY TIME.
You thought you won when you took everything away from me? Just wait, I'll build myself back up and reclaim my honour. I will stand proud again. It probably gave you immense pleasure to have me disowned and disinherited. You will never believe what he did to OUR SISTER, but he CONFESSED to it!
JUST REMEMBER - THE PRESCRIPTION PERIOD DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE AND CRIMINAL CHARGES CAN BE FILED AT ANY TIME.
So carry on smashing the tiles that I laid in the bathroom and posting your little rants.
JUST REMEMBER - THE PRESCRIPTION PERIOD DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE AND CRIMINAL CHARGES CAN BE FILED AT ANY TIME.
Carry on renting out the house that I BUILT, I hope you enjoy your four properties because you will still die a bitter, sad and lonely person with nothing but the walls of your houses to become your prison when you slowly drive yourself insane because of your own self hatred.
JUST REMEMBER - THE PRESCRIPTION PERIOD DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE AND CRIMINAL CHARGES CAN BE FILED AT ANY TIME.
The whole fucking world would be a safer place without that woman in it. My world would be a different place and I could maybe find some peace and not scream in my dreams quite so much.
A distant relative calls these "Revenge fantasies of the impotent"
I prefer "Revenge fantasies of the omnipotent".
But she will continue screwing people over and wrecking lives - that's just what she does and the world is a very unfair, unjust place and I wouldn't look good in an orange jumpsuit.
Dedicated to all those who suffer from PTSD and CPTSD
Funker Vogt - House of Sorrows
Locked away in rooms and routines
But some things are worse than walls
Never ending grief surrounds us
And sometimes I can hear their calls
But I prefer not to notice
What there was and has been
The ugly truth locked away
Will forget what I have seen
So I'm looking for a hell dimension
Where everyday is smile-time
Where there's no need for action
A place devoid of crime
But Pleasantville is far too boring
I have almost lost my mind
It's better to face the facts
There is no better truth to find
And again I stare at the truth I couldn't bare
Not today and not tomorrow
There's no escape from the house of sorrows
And again I stare at the truth I couldn't bare
The tragedies of my past
This feeling will forever last
I'm in the house of sorrows
