Day 1
Dear Diary...
You won't believe what happened to me this morning...it was the weirdest thing. I don't know how long this will last either, I'm going to have to wait it out and see.
"What the ?... wait, who said that? Why does my voice sound so freaking strange?" I remember thinking "WHERE ARE MY BOOBS ... AND WTF IS THIS???? Oh my word, what the hell? Is this some kind of bad prank?" After hearing my more barotone voice bellowing out instead of my rather raspy yet feminine voice, well I kinda had a small panic attack while feeling around my(?) body and checking what was going on. I wasn't me anymore. Well, I was still me, but I had changed. I'm now a DUDE! It's a good thing my name is Andy I suppose - it's a dual gender name. I suppose the first few The most delicate changes being to my fiddly bits. So first off the bat, I have to admit I miss my boobs. The lack of wimble wombles coupled with the addition of well, jingle jangles - this is going to require some serious adjustment. Going to the loo was a fucking nightmare this morning. I'm on my third pair of trousers and my underwear is useless at being underwear other than giving me constant wedgies. I'm going to need to do some potty training target practice of some sort, I mean when you're a kid, you get a bit more understanding from your folks when you miss the loo - because you're a kid. Now a days you get these cute little toilets for little lads that they get to aim at, some of them are even frog shaped. I doubt that adult male potty training is going to be that much fun and I don't have much time to perfect this either because, well, I'm going to have to get on with normal every day life soon. I caught myself thinking "Ok, let me go look in the mirror and assess this situation in it's entirety" Hmmm. Ok. There's going to be a LOT of adjustment going on. I never thought that this is what I'd look like as a man. And my body shape is different now. Most of my trousers are women's trousers and that's not going to bode well for - "the bulge". I suppose a shopping list is in order...How in the actual fuck am I going to go shopping like this? What's the most manly clothing I own? I had to go rummage through my entire wardrobe and it left a lot to be desired. Itch itch itch, scratch scratch...my word how the hell do guys deal with their coconuts being itchy like this? Oh my gosh. Note to self - don't be so judgemental in future about guys scratching their balls! And what the hell? Stubble? Already? But it's still morning...this is really rather difficult. So I shaved - "Ow. OUch. Oh man, that's really bleeding. Hmmm maybe this wasn't such a good idea"... Plasters face with little pieces of tissue to stave off exsanguinating to death. Throws current razor blades in the bin. Now I know why guys tell women to not use their razors. It's all starting to make more sense now. Us guys have a lot of shitty things to deal with. Oh look, I'm getting used to the idea of being a dude already 🙄. Dear Chunk of Thinly Sliced Dead Tree I always thought that guys had it easy you know, with the portability and versatility of being able to wee standing up, but half asleep toilet breaks in the early morning (glory) stage - well, there was a lot of gruff swearing and furrowed eye brows at having to change gears while my bladder was screaming at me. Mankind - on behalf of the ignoramus chicks out there .... I'm sorry. Morning erections as much as they might be fun sometimes, this morning did not include anything that goes by the description of "fun". I need coffee and a fucking island holiday to get used to this. Hmmm yesterday sucked donkey balls. Ok, maybe a little bit. I'm not sure if I like being a dude. It's all so difficult. For fuck sakes, today I had to get into my truck really fast to deal with a situation. I didn't realise it immediately but I was absent mindedly watching this pretty little thing while in a queue to grab some coffee. I've always enjoyed people watching, so I didn't think much of it, until I realised that my trousers were becoming really uncomfortable. I aborted the coffee mission immediately and aimed for my truck at breakneck speed (no pun intended)...how fucking embarressing. Note to self: Avoid pretty girls with ice cream from now on. It may sound like I'm being a "typical male" here, but this made me realise how different the arousal experience is for a man vs for a woman. Me as a man, I'm definitely more visually geared than I was as a woman. It felt a bit weird though...being aroused by a woman, it was biological and seeing as I don't know if I'm going to be like this forever, I suppose I better find ways to embrace this. Today it happened. I had been getting used to all the changes and perhaps I had become complacent, perhaps I was distracted. All I know is that I have never ever experienced pain like that before. Ok childbirth is still worse - but this is definitely a close second. Zips - I fucking HATE you! Things have been without incident for about a month now. I don't want to ginx it, but I think I'm getting the "hang" of being a man now. Work is fine and apart from the occassional shitty assumption from some of my colleagues, I think I am handling it pretty well. But I'm hungry all the time. My metabolism is probably twice what it was when I was a girl ... no wonder guys are constantly raiding the fridge - now I'm one of them lol. I am not used to having this much testosterone. It's weird. I look at and feel stuff differently than I used to. I am a compassionate guy, empathetic, a good man, I wear my heart on my sleeve...but today some dumb fuck cut across a red light and slammed into my car. I lost my shit. I haven't been that angry in a long time. It's something I'm going to have to get used to reigning in. Some people deserve my rage though because they are irresponsible and negligent. Anyone that messes with me or mine had better watch out, I will defend them to the end. Sheila said yes, we're going on a date! Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous. I have no idea how to be around a woman. Well, I was one, but now the rules of engagement are completely different. I'm going to have to plan and most importantly - stay calm. The date went relatively well. I was a complete gentleman and I think she likes me, well, she said she does and she said yes to seeing me again. She has sultry eyes and she's intelligent, confident in herself and can hold her own in any situation. I dig her laugh, it's contagious and sexy. Her voice is even better in person than on the phone. I'm enjoying being a man now. There are perks to being a man, there are other perks to being a woman. I guess I can appreciate it from both sides now. It's been almost two thirds of a year since this change happened and I think I've become accustomed to being a man. Things have been going a lot better. There were a lot of changes that I needed to sort out initially after waking up a guy. It was really weird starting to date and then committing to a relationship with a woman initially, but that was two months ago. After last night with Shiela, well, I don't know if I want to go back to being a woman. I loved that she felt safe with me and she let herself go completely. We've been seeing each other for long enough that neither of us have any reservations. It was intense and felt so different to what I remember as a woman. I was kinda worried about performance anxiety, but there was none of that, thankfully. I'm kinda crazy about her, she does this weird thing with her tongue.... Anyway...enough about that, I've got shit to do. A man's work is never done.
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Nope - not a prank, not a dream either.
minutes hours days like this are going be the most bizarre challenging and I've already had a few near misses today.I'm I was rather attached to my wimble-wombles and my chest feels flat and rather sad. They were with me for decades, I'd got used to them being where they are were, being a flat-chester now, my center of gravity feels off kilter.
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Day 2
Day 4
I swear, I couldn't be less capable of being a dude. I made a huge faux pas while talking to Meredith at the office. She has nice boobs. I miss my boobs. It's not like I was staring.Day 8
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Day 15
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Day 45
Day 80
Day 167
Day 174
Day 200
Day 232
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