I grew up in a home with two pessimists, my father and my mother. I don't remember my father ever saying a word of enthusiasm about anything. He was a rigid man who was educated in his early years at a school run by Germans, a culture characterized by a very disciplined education. Imagine being in a military school from kindergarten onwards. And his mother, my grandmother Adeline, was a person who was not affectionate and had a bad temper. I loved my father very much, especially when I was a child. I was his favorite daughter, but I must admit that he was a person who did not smile easily.

When you grow up in a home where there is usually no joy, no enthusiasm, your family context and its dynamics determine your way of being in the world. It is very difficult to change that pattern; it is difficult to focus on the positive things that happen to you and the positive things that happen around you. As an old Roman adage says: “Esse quam videri” (We are what we see). I was a very sad, quiet, lonely child and young woman, and I was very afraid of the world. My mother was depressed and saw everything in a negative light.

For many years I was pessimistic, I had trouble integrating socially, I saw various psychologists and psychiatrists, who did not change the way I felt and prescribed me medication. Fortunately, a friend recommended a holistic psychologist, Benito, who managed to improve my depression with non-traditional medicine: acupuncture and homeopathic medicine. About 26 years ago, I came into contact with Buddhism, a philosophy of life that has helped me to have a more positive outlook on life, and I began to meditate.

It wasn't all plain sailing. It took me more than twenty years to change my pessimistic mindset. Understanding that my happiness did not depend on what was happening outside of me, that what was causing me to suffer was in my head, and in the negative emotions that my thoughts produced, in my inability to love myself, take care of my health, and appreciate the positive things in my life and in the world, in my difficulty in resolving things without making a drama out of them.

As you learn to see yourself in a more positive light and change your attitude toward others, you will attract more people who vibrate at the same frequency as you. Today, I greatly value those generous friends from my childhood and youth who loved and accepted me for who I was. Because, although it may sound selfish, right now I prefer to be with optimistic people, or those who bring positive things to my life, who enjoy what I enjoy. I avoid toxic, aggressive people. It has taken me many years to find my balance and joy within myself, and I cannot allow other people to fill me with darkness and violence.

I think being pessimistic or optimistic is a choice. Being optimistic doesn't mean seeing everything through rose-colored glasses; it means viewing life and the things that happen to you with a more positive outlook, which helps you feel better. For me, being positive today means being able to enjoy the things I like more, surrounding myself with like-minded people who enrich my life and make me feel good.

Since my native language is not English, I have had to rely on the Deepl.com platform to translate this article into English.