When my father died of cancer I knew when it was going to happen; his death was only hours away the last time I saw him. I'd told him I would be ok, that I didn't want him to be in pain anymore and that I loved him very much then was taken from the room. He was gone a very short time later.
I was eleven years old and that moment has stuck with me my entire life, that and the journey his illness took us all on, the fight he waged and how devastating it was to me as a child...and now as an adult. That moment, walking away knowing it would be the last time I'd see my father, haunts me.
I'm facing it again with my mother right now, her slow decline and the pain and suffering we are both going through on a daily basis. Some days I don't know how to go on, but go on I must, she needs me and somehow I manage. Cancer is a tragic illness that affects everyone close to the sufferer and knowing I'll lose my mother to it the way I lost my father fills me with dread.
Imagine you had the power to see people's future - not your own - but only the exact moment they would die and how, would you tell people? What possible ramifications do you think there would be either way.
When I read the #weekend-engagement prompts I didn't get past the first knowing I'd not be involved, but something changed my mind, the idea that putting thoughts down in words might help me work through them just a little bit...these are those words.
I'd not want the power to see the manner and time in which people would die, I think it would be a curse. If I had it though, I'd not divulge the information to people.
Telling a person when and how they would die would almost certainly cause them to act differently, maybe to their detriment if they lapsed into despair, and possibly to their benefit if they decided to make their life count right up to the final moment. But would it be the right thing to do? That's the dilemma galenkp wanted to present us with I suppose.
I feel life should proceed without the knowledge of when death will arrive so that it plays out organically and decisions are made around life rather than knowing when one's death will be. It's enough to know that it will happen at some point in time, I don't think we need to know when, however I think we need to live each moment fully, be present in one's own life and be the best version of ourselves.
My mother falls backwards into the impending doom of her life ending and that the demise will be a terrible experience and that's when despair creeps in, but she comes around and we enjoy those better times, make memories that will stay with me for my lifetime. I believe this is the best way and far better than focussing on that eventual end.
Thinking back to the eleven year old me, I wish I'd not known that that moment was going to be my last with my father, it destroyed me, stole my innocence and shattered the concept of hope, that lasted for a long time. I don't want that to occur with my mother, or anyone else for that matter.
This is a very difficult question and everyone will answer it in their own way. For me the answer is no, I'd not tell the person...but I'd not want the power of knowing the first place.
Becca 💗
This post has been written for week 158 of the #weekend-engagement concept featured in The weekend experiences community.