I am generous, I thoughtfully consider myself to be one, for several reasons, or can I say it this way that I am expected to be generous for the people around me, related to me and associated to me, in one way or the other.
Ideally, I put others "first" (being generous) than over my own self and my comfort (being selfish). This is obviously a tight rope to walk on, considering, what I am expected or supposed to do over, how to take care of myself, treat and great myself rather please myself in the best possible way, that can disturb others, their schedule and other aspects of their lives, probably. No matter how efficient I may be, but people around you, just need one excuse, one petty reason to complain and point fingers at you.
Can, my being, unconditionally generous, is beneficial, to the others and benefits them in many ways!? The crystal clear answer is "Yes"! Unequivocally Yes!
The life, I live in, as a woman, possibly seeks and demands, constant giving throughout, making me think sometimes, if, way too much of being generous or being sacrificing, erodes and erases my own identity for not being able to take care of myself the way it should be. But the choices are little.
However, it's critically important to keep myself physically and mentally fit and energetic to undertake various tasks and activities, by the way of “self-care” that definitely does not mean being “selfish”.
There is an absolute possibility that when you are generous, people around you can be demanding and there is relatively greater probability of you being taken for granted. Tried...tested, came out to be true almost every time. One has to draw the line, the thin line so that being generous doesn’t suddenly turn into being called as selfish. Sometimes it happens that way, when situations are uncontrollable and turn out to be unfavorable just for you. Their patience is virtue.
Another big question is, being cordial, related or connected to, being generous? I believe it is, somehow.
Perhaps more cordial you are, people around you, linked to you can be somehow more expecting and possibly demanding, for you to be, exceptionally generous. They can be pretty vocal in their expressions about you and even dare to offend you to seek their share loudly from your generosity, explicitly.
Ironically, the general understanding around every individual is, being generous is, putting others interests ( major or minor) before yours and giving your best to please everyone around you, will definitely tag you as a generous person. Hope so! That way.
Pleasing, pampering or obliging can be some of the vital aspects and components of being called "Generous".
Practically, generous people are liked and loved by many for being true facilitators and resolving to the interests of needy or concerned.
Ok, now another biggest question is, does that benefit me, being generous?
The answer can be totally ambiguous, but in simple terms it is "No". Being Generous can be a liability, sometimes. You are made to own several tasks, responsibilities, duties and activities that others could have easily taken ownership of, but since you are available, they are yours and when you start to perform them judiciously and meticulously that benefit or please others, you are for sure, generous person. There can be several other rather multiple aspects to it, though, I might have touched, few and left out many.
The way, I have to be generous that pleases others and not me, can be an unkind act to myself, really!
Again, the answer to this can be intriguing in many ways.
Societal pressures and norms expect you to be what you have to be for plenty of reasons.
The whole ecosystem of life, society and family is totally based on some to be exceptionally generous to run it effectively and efficiently. Other that can are “Selfish” as some of them really may put their own interests before other and keep sanctity in their lives, if not you are but to struggle in many ways.
Now, does that mean, being selfish is bad?
Many of you would instantly say, "Yes" without realizing or considering, are you/they not!?
Human psychology is the weirdest subject that people, want and expect from others, that they are not.
Nevertheless, it’s crucial and vital that family life, professional life or social life does demand generosity to greater extent. So everyone has to own, has to contribute to run it efficiently and effectively.
It would be disastrous, if in the crowd of billions, there are only few generous people around, it would rather be a catastrophe.
Interestingly even a hardcore selfish individual would expect others to be genuinely generous towards him/her, no matter what. These are just not expectations, but deep desires that they want to come out to be true.
Ironically, the rational ratio of “Generous vs Selfish” is realistically disproportionate and you can do nothing about it.
My contribution for:
#weekendexperiences by @galenkp
Week 271 Contest
TOPIC 5
Therefore being “reasonably generous” to “smartly selfish” can actually protect and impart much needed mental peace, retaining your self-respect and self-esteem, besides, it can surely avert exhaustion, stress, tension, fatigue and eventually breakdown from “excessive giving or sacrificing” beyond an invisible, yet prescribed limit, as respectfully, set by you.
Thank you.
PS: All the images are my own.