Well…
Firstly, if I ever star in a movie about my own life, it’ll be an absolute flop. Not because of my outward beauty, (I’d like to think I can pass as an average person pretty easily), no, but because of the story itself, as it would be, extremely, extremely boring and without a doubt, meaningless.
It would be like one of those indie art films, you know? Not the good ones with deep meanings and emotional exploration, but like the ones that just go on and on for hours without making any level of sense. People will sit down to watch the movie and think just which demon had possessed them when they thought this would be a good movie to watch.
It will be a downright irritation, a complete letdown and a cause of total displeasure. It will be rated 0.2 by IMDB, the .2 being a bribe to the director to never make shits like this ever again. It will be so bad that some people would begin using it to get some sleep, as its monotonous story would make even the insomniac feel like sleeping beauty.
Now you may think I’m writing it all down for the sake of comedy in my post. You may think I’m exaggerating. But I’m being entirely serious! Don’t believe me? Let me paint you the overall plot of the whole thing.
The PLOT
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Yeap. That’s right. Nothing. The plot is nothing.
This MC, (which is me) will not be providing you with an interesting life story filled with inspirational quotes. This MC lacks inspiration altogether, and in the whole movie you’ll just be watching them (which is me) live their life without learning a single lesson, doing things which has zero meaning to them, and even after making a mistake once, keep making it over and over again until they turn like, fifty or something, and have a complete ‘oh shit I’m old’ kind of death because let's face it, this MC (which is me) was never healthy to begin with, had habits which were questionable at best and liked to waste their days by staying in bed instead of living an active, fit life.
Honestly, the audience might even want to kill the MC themselves by the time the movie is half done, and would release a pained breath after the MC died in the movie, if they had the patience enough to finish the damn thing in the first place, that is. People will cry seeing the whole thing because of the total incompetence of the MC(which is me). The urge to shake them awake from the delusional state they are in would cause their veins to ache. It might even cause heart attacks for the weaker ones. It will be a source of thousand depressing memes on the internet and a guideline for directors to know what not to do in movies.
And me? The star of the movie?? The one of whom the entire shitshow is about??
Well, it is safe to say that my acting career will be over with the damn thing.
Or who knows? I might even end up winning an oscar for delivering such an outstanding performance in acting like a careless, self-destructive fool. Hollywood is getting weirder and weirder these days after all. You never know just which is a total hit or miss these days…