About four or five years ago I was even crazier than I am now. It may not seem like long time ago. But for me those times seem so distant as if they were from another life. I had a crush on a girl from another country. I only knew her online and we never met in person. And yet she was constantly on my mind and I wanted to travel to a distant corner of the world just so I would meet her for a few days during Hivefest. At that time I was not just crazier but also even poorer than I am now. I didn't have money for traveling to Bangkok or tickets. So I made a piece that I used as as a cover of this post as my entry to any possible contest. My pockets were nearly empty, I had not spoken english for many years. And yet my dreams were way too big for me to even consider such ,,insignificant'' details. I only cared about meeting her. Nothing else seemed important at that time. I was rushing out of fear that she will have a boyfriend later. Or that I will no longer dare to act later...But it was just not meant to be. My art didn't win any contest so I could not go to the Hivefest. I grew even more desperate and crazy so I asked her on a online date without ever meeting her in real life. She did a reasonable thing and didn't respond to my message. So we grew more distant and walked our different paths. Perhaps that is for the best because this ,,relationship'' was doomed to fail. But it is human nature to want what we can't have. Fairy tales of strangers meeting in the night might be nice subject for a song or a movie but it rarely works out like that in real life...
But what would I have done in a different life where we would have met? What if I would have had enough money not only to meet her but to move to her country? Like I said I was really crazy about this girl. So it is possible that I would have pulled the trigger and moved to another country just to be with her. But in reality I am not only not rich. My english is bad. I also don't like interacting with most people. So moving to that country would definitely have been an enormous challenge. Or a really sweet nightmare. In the end it ended the best way for both me and her. Some sweet dreams are just dreams after all...
