It seems like all my life I have lived being accused and I sometimes wonder if he's just doing it to frustrate me or for some other reasons I'm not sure of, I do not know.
This incident happened recently, about 2 weeks ago.
My partner got home from work one evening, after welcoming him, I prepared dinner so we could eat. While we were eating, he started telling me about our neighbor who he had gone to meet earlier to remind her about the electricity bill that needed to be paid. He went ahead to narrate how she told him that she doesn't have money, she has been the one struggling to pay the children's school fees, and her husband who had gone for a job has not been back for months, he hasn't been supporting the home also, etc.
While he narrated all of this, I was just like, "why has her husband made her go through all that, it isn't fair".
I didn't know what else to say, so I just let my expressions do the rest of the talking.
By the time we finished eating, I was about to clear the table when he called me and said he wanted to ask a question. I turned to him and paid attention as he went ahead to ask,
"How many times have you slept with Daddy A and Daddy B."
(Daddy A &B is my elder sister's husband and immediate elder sister's husband. I watched his expression first to see if it was a joke, when I saw that it wasn't, all I said was "May God forgive you".
I'm unable to describe how I felt when he asked the question.
He asked like he saw me sleeping with my sister's husband. I racked my brain to understand why he would have asked such a horrible question and think about such of me.
It got me annoyed, however, I tried to calm myself as continued cleaning the table.
I wanted so much to avoid getting angry. But his next action made me even more upset.
As I was leaving for the kitchen with the plates we had used for eating, I heard him raising his voice saying " leave your sisters husband alone, leave them alone. I was so upset that I said to my partner, if I am guilty of the accusation, let God punish me but if I'm not, let God punish you for accusing me in this matter. Before I could complete the sentence, 2 slaps had landed on my face.
I became so angry that I said it again to his face. At that point, I wondered why what I was saying got him angry that he started hitting. The statement I made was that he should be punished by God if I'm not guilty unless he apologizes. I also said to myself that if I'm guilty, I should be punished by God.
Two things were shocking to me; one was the part of my partner accusing me of such an abominable act, while the second was the morale he gathered to hit me without thinking that I may end up with internal and external injuries.
The situation resulted in domestic violence. I was physically abused.
Interestingly, no apology was made until I decided to move my focus from myself alone to the relationship. I went to him to make him see the reason why he needed to realize that what he did was wrong. Before that time, he was still claiming to be right, he wasn't remorseful despite knowing that he accused me wrongly and the accusation led to a bigger offense which was violence.
After he finally apologized, I decided to let it go and not stay angry about it, however, he didn't give me a reason to let it out of my mind completely because of his inability to trust me and it makes me wonder how long I will keep enduring a marriage where there is no trust.
Yes, that incident and the subsequent incidents are about to ruin our relationship. Being physically and emotionally abused by my partner is a long time coming, it is something I've always endured with him hoping that one day he would change and we would live happily. The same pattern of issues is what I still experience despite my effort. Someone made a fact known to me that if I keep trying to change him without him realizing that he needs a change, I would end up wearing myself out. To be honest, I already feel like I'm being worn out.
All gifs were gotten from peakd editor