Laugh and cry: What has made you laugh or cry unexpectedly (or both). Explain your answers, the situation, why, when, and where.
It is at the summit of a steep hill that one finds Toride Elementary School. It is among the two public schools I work as an assistant language teacher.
The 15 to 20-minute walk is somewhat of a roller coaster, not because the trek is turbulent. Nothing could be further from the truth. I use roller coaster to describe the lay of the land. From descending the stairs at the train station to ascending the hill on one of the parochial roads to again, descending said hill that takes you to a downward winding depression. And it is at that depression that one finds a plinth with the words Toride Elementary school emblazoned.
Toride Elementary is the flagship school in the city, and as you can imagine, a jewel in the crown of my recruiting company. It is a school they try desperately to retain as their client whenever they have to negotiate the contract. They sent me here to do a bit of damage control because my predecessor messed up so badly. Among some of these ‘compensatory’ tactics my company is employing, if they can be called that, is to have me show up some weekends. I can’t say this had me shedding tears outwardly but I was gutted.
To be honest, working on Saturdays is all well and good except that I have two schools. I am at Toride on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and I am at another on the other days. So now, I find myself having to forfeit my weekends to attend various events being put on by the schools. Hence, my dilemma is multiplied by two.
For example, a few Saturdays ago I was required to attend 'observation' day. This is where the parents watch their children’s classes. As to why this could not be done during the week is due to, I suppose, the fact that the parents are not available outside of the weekend. Japan’s work culture is brutal – brutal to the extent that people die from working too much. They even coined a name for it. It is called karoshi – death by overwork—stories for other days.
I must confess that this is my least favorite event. Imagine all those eyes staring at you, watching every move you make. In all of that, you are expected to do a stellar job. I think this can be likened unto sitting a test with a gun at your head. Your parents expect you to receive an A, but the reality is that with that level of pressure you are bound to fail before you start. At least, this is what I told myself. To my surprise, the feedback from the parents was quite good, so you can imagine how much of a relief that was. I guess working on Saturdays is not always bad. And so my frustration became a laughing moment.
After that initial shock from learning that I had to give up one or two Saturdays per month just before starting this new assignment, I assumed it would be uphill from there. As steep as the incline to Toride Elementary School. But instead of complaining about how bad it all is, I have decided to look for the positives in this experience. Take this view of the city for example. I took some of these pictures from the second-floor balcony. It might not seem like much, but in the mornings before the children arrive it can be one of the most peaceful places to be. Up here, the bedlam of rush hour seems so distant. Sure, one can see the cars passing by and the boats sailing on the river, but the distance keeps the cacophony at bay. Every morning after settling in I spend at least 5 minutes inhaling the fresh air and giving thanks for a healthy mind and body. Do not think me crazy but I try to find something to laugh about while I am alone up there looking at the city below.
When the day gets rolling I say goodbye to the quiet and the solitude and give thanks for my students. Their cheers and innocent laughter remind me that there is always time for a little fun. I also give thanks for my colleagues, some of the greatest people I have worked with. Together, they make working on Saturdays a treat.
I became even more thankful after I had set this piece aside and started scrolling through my news feed. It was then that I learned that a gunman had broken into an elementary school in Texas and killed 17 people. Two were adults, the rest were children. The numbers have risen. It is beyond me why anyone would seek to hurt children. I have been in the classroom for over a decade now and have run into some really difficult kids. Not once though have I ever thought of hurting any of them. I guess that is just me.
If my memory serves me right I think it was Spinoza who said that sometimes were must neither laugh nor cry but try and understand. I honestly cannot understand. What I can do though is to have a little laugh and be grateful. Grateful that the noises I hear in the hallway will not be the curdling screams of children running from death. I can laugh and be grateful that my colleagues will not suffer the same fate as those in Texas. I can laugh and I do laugh and am grateful that nothing lasts. I laugh knowing that this madness too must end and usher in an America where all any teacher or child will have to complain about is going to school on the weekend.
And of course, in the midst of this laughter are the tears for those who have been left behind. They are mourning the loss of the innocent. Texas goddamn.
P.S. Remember to hug those closest to you. And sorry I could not take pictures of the kids. Japan doesn’t allow unauthorized use of their citizens’ image.