Is it possible to rank values? Not really. But it's an interesting exercise set by the Weekend Experiences community. How would you rank these values?

1. Generosity

Generosity is a moral virtue, and a universal one. Without generosity of spirit, humankind is doomed. It's more important than sharing our material wealth — donating to charity, gifting to those who might need it more than us — but also sharing our abundance in other ways. When we share our time, our attention, or kindness with others, without expecting anything in return, we enhance the lives of others, and thus all of humanity.

Generosity is motivated by kindness and empathy, and an honest desire to make the lives of others better. Every other value can be seen as flowing from generosity. If, for example, the man heckling the Aboriginal Welcome to Country at the Anzac Day parade had a modicum of generosity, he would have understood how much damage he was causing not just to the people he heckled, but to all of humankind, and thus himself and his own.

Generosity can take many forms - putting down your phone and listening patiently to someone when you are busy, sharing your garden harvest with neighbours, helping someone out at work because you want them to succeed, planting seeds for a community garden or plants for the birds.

It's definitely not doing it for Tik Tok because people will think you're a wonderful person and give you follows and likes. It's more humble than that.

Relationship Building

We're not meant to live alone. We thrive on connect to others, not the transactional ones, but genuine bonds that have as a foundation trust, care and mutual support.

It's something that doesn't always come easy - it's a practice that requires attention, effort, and often being vulnerable, cracking open our hard exteriors to let the other in. It helps us strengthen our own lives as well as the very society in which we live - when we listen to others and celebrate their wins and mourn their losses, we are connecting to greater humanity.

I find this the hardest because past experiences have taught me that it's safer to be alone. But I try because I know it's important. Again, it's a practice - I text a friend to see if she's okay because I know she's been having a tough time at work, or I drag myself to the community market to support people offering their wares, or I try to resolve misunderstandings instead of neglect relationships that are under pressure.

Honesty

Relationships collapse without honesty. It's not just about blindly speaking what you percieve as the truth, but living in higher truths even when it's not convenient for us. Without it, there's no trust, and our marriage disintegrates, our friendships wither, and our communities suffer. It's about being about to be courageous and admit when we're wrong, to own up to your mistakes, to set clear boundaries in relationships. It's about putting the needs of others in front of your own, such as not following your desires at the expense of how others might feel or suffer.

I think a generous spirit doesn't have time for deceit.

It's why I won't ever, ever have an affair. Being dishonest can really, really hurt people.

Humility

Humility is a quieter value, but again, it's about putting others first. It's not about ego and putting our own self first, but about admitting we can be wrong, or recognising through action that we are not superior or better than others and giving them a chance to shine.

Again it's about generosity - it's about sharing abundance over hoarding it. For example, stepping aside when someone has a good idea and letting them lead, even if you think you can do it better. It's sometimes good to ask for advice or help rather than blunder along making mistakes because you can't admit you know best. It's about letting someone else bask in victory, even when you would like the attention.

It's definitely not this guy.

Manners

Manners are a social construct. They mean different things in different cultures and are thus not a universal value or law. Who am I pleasing when I say please and thank you? What does it achieve? When I am gifted something, why am I required to thank them? Of course, I would — but if the gift is given with the expectation of something back, is it truly a gift?
If all the other values are adhered to, small gestures like letting someone in front of you in the queue or asking someone how their day was come naturally, rather than being forced.

I can’t help but imagine an older person saying condescendingly: "Where are your manners!" when a younger person has done something that does not please them. It feels like they are trying to pull them into line, to get them to adhere to norms at the expense of more important things.
That said, it's not that it isn't important to have manners — just that it isn't truly indicative of a good person, only that they are good at following the rules of behaviour set down as law.

But still, manners do help society function better, and if they come from generosity of spirit, they're worth doing. Letting someone ahead of you in the grocery queue, appreciatively and genuinely thanking a stranger for holding the door open when you're struggling with a box, or trying not to interrupt someone when they're talking even if you disagree with them. Yeah, manners are important when they come from a good place.

With Love,

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