I never thought that I would also like cooking. I'm not the best kind of cook, but I think I do well in it because the oldies eat what I cook too. I also received criticism and praise, that's why I still try my best to make it better. My number one judges for this are Mommy F and Mommy D. They always give different reactions to my cooking, and I am always glad to receive their reactions.
I can count on my fingers the number of times I received praise from Mommy D, and even though I get annoyed whenever she criticizes me, getting better is like a challenge to me so that I can get her approval whenever I cook. As for my Mommy F, well, she always says positive words regarding my cooking, so pleasing my Mommy F is much easier.
So let me share a simple meal that I prepared personally and without the help of anyone. It's really not a complicated one because I'm still afraid to try and experiment. It's just sautéing and boiling, then waiting for it to be cooked. The hardest part here is tasting the food, because what if it tastes good to me already but tastes bland to others? That's why sometimes I ask Mommy D to taste it so that I can adjust it to the taste they want. Not this time, though.
And you know, food has always been an effective mood booster, or if ever I am having a hard time staying positive all the time, food is a great help for me. With the ways I help myself, I can say that I also do well in managing my mental health. Just last week, I experienced a panic attack, and it's truly hard to stay optimistic at that time because of those negative thoughts running wild in my head.
But in the end, I did well in enduring it, and I was able to stay on my foot. I moved on, and now I'm continuing my day just like I do normally. Although it may sound like a simple matter, it is not. It is a serious matter. It's not that I can easily make myself better, it's just that I chose happiness, and not even my negative thoughts can stop that.
Memorization is my worst enemy! I remember that during college, I always had a hard time remembering what I studied. You know that feeling. I came prepared with all the knowledge I accumulated while studying at home, but then during the test time, I will all forget it and end up having bad grades in the end. Memorizing is really not for me, especially the long one. I always envy those people who can memorize anything and will do well in their studies. Why I can't do that?
You know what's worse when our law professor requires us to memorize the Constitution of the Philippines and we have to recite it in front of the class? I know I memorize it all well. I made an effort to really pull it off, to the point of filling my notebook with those words I already memorized repeatedly, but when I'm in front of everybody, I start to stutter, and my head starts to get blank as if any alphabet I know just disappears. Deep inside, I know I want to do well. I know I want to get good grades, but every time I try, I always fail. He gave me time and another chance, but, unfortunately, I failed miserably.
Memorization and public speaking - those are the two things I can never do well. Even today, I have a hard time memorizing, even simple items can be forgotten easily when my attention is focused on other things. Same with public speaking, even if I only have to face one person, it is still hard for me because I always have a hard time doing the right thing to face people. And what more if it is crowded like this (≧▽≦)? I might just run if ever I have to face these lots of people. Why can some people proudly face people while I can't? ಥ‿ಥ
Even with practice, I always start to stutter, and even if I want to give a more pleasing impression, it will end up a fail because I always get awkward and shy, and my insecurities will also start to just show up, and that's where everything will start to shatter. Like why ರ_ರ. And I always had the urge to hide my face, or sometimes I would just wish to disappear in the middle of a conversation. I need more confidence, I know, but that's just hard to get, even with practice, I can't just master it. How I wish I could just "purchase" a skill and buy that "confidence" in a store.
So in summary, I do well in cooking, and I also do well in managing my mental health, but I suck at memorization, and the same when it comes to public speaking. Aigoooo. So how about you?