When I look back and reflect on my life and how far I have come, I can't help but give myself a pat on the back. I am incredibly grateful for the gift of life and for the gift of friendship and relationships.
I still can’t believe that I could conquer my fears after so many years of being afraid of what my life would become because that was my greatest fear. The fear of the unknown, the what-ifs, and certainly the fear of failing.
Even though I know for a fact that I still haven't gotten the whole package of what I expect from life, for now, I am happy with how far I have come. According to the popular saying “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. I know someday every single thing will fall into place.
Back then when I was dealing with anxieties and uncertainties, I was unsure about myself, I didn't believe in myself, and my faith level was zero. I never believed that I could achieve this little over time, it felt and looked impossible, right now I wish I had binoculars back then so I could use them to take a peek into my life.
I remember how many nights I cried and soaked my pillow silently wishing I was someone else whilst questioning my existence. It was so bad that I almost got burnt by it.
I was unsure of what the future held for me and how to navigate the path to success. It dawned on me that if I had to overcome fear I had to be intentional about overcoming it.
I cultivated the habit of doing things I was scared of, regardless of the outcome I was still going to do whatever I wanted. I read books, I loved myself, and I sought help.
It was easy trying to be a better version of myself but eventually, things started to fall into place and I kept trusting the process.
All of my uncertainty and doubt began when I finished high school, imagine how young I was then and I was already conscious about how my life was going to be, funny right? I know. At that young age, I was in so much fear. It was crazy! I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life after graduation. Even though I knew the next step after graduation was college, still I had anxiety, fear was my companion, and despair struck multiple times. I recall vividly laying down on my bed, tired of living in terror of what would happen to my life, thinking aloud, I suddenly got up, looked in the mirror, and told myself some optimistic and affirmative words. I will never forget that day as it was a Saturday morning. I started reading books and seeking advice from older people thereby improving my self-esteem and confidence level.
Sharing my story helped me get answers to my questions. I got to realize that fear is only a state of the mind and that it kills faster than anything.
Now after 18 years, I can confidently say that I am satisfied with the direction my life is heading and I am proud of how far I have come.
I am married to the best man in the world and we are doing life together whilst taking it a day at a time.
Regardless of how fabulous my life is now, there’s still room for improvement because you know in life you yearn for more like Oliver Twist who always asked for more hehehehehe😃.