“Have you seen what your dad looks like?" One of my best friends jokingly said. “That could be you someday!”
We were 18 around that time. We were hanging out at my best friend's house in a neighboring town. We were in college, although we were attending different schools.
Every other weekend or so, we would switch up the location of our hangouts - could be a friend’s house, a club or a bar, or just some place where we can chill, get drunk, and talk BS.
It’s all fun and games. Nobody gets offended.
I used to be skinny. My mom used to teasingly call me Mowgli, a main character of one of my most favorite movies: The Jungle Book. Bowl-cut hair and all.
She also used to tell me stories about how she used to tickle me and my ribcage would show, as if they were giant strings of a guitar.
I was a kid no older than 6 years old. I didn’t care. She made sure I was healthy. She made sure I was happy. I had no worries.
For the rest of my days? Yes, pun is indeed intended.
Let’s find out.
I started gaining weight when I was in Elementary School, though I don't remember much issues from when I was in first or second grade.
In third grade, I saw a classmate’s drawing. It was cartoon illustrations of a bunch of different animals. I saw my name written below the pig-looking character.
I thought it was weird. That's when I started paying attention to what people would say to me whether at school or at home.
My worst experience was in sixth grade, just a year before we started high school. Yes, during my schooling days in the Philippines, we went straight to High School after graduating from Sixth Grade.
There was a kid in my class who just never stopped insulting people. He was a verbal bully, and he poked fun at me as much as he liked. Same thing towards the other big kid in our class.
It was bad, but I had to find a way to cope up with all the insults. It got to my head. I started feeling sorry for myself.
I got insecure. I got too self-conscious.
High school was when things started to get better. I got taller, slimmer. I started getting more into sports - football (soccer) to be more specific. I had coaches who were concerned with the health and welfare of us aspiring athletes.
I was still a little overweight for my age but my physique definitely got better. I only got fitter and fitter over time.
College wasn’t bad either in terms of my overall health. I did gain a few pounds back due to the long pause from competitive sports.
I was also just focused on getting through school and obtaining my degree. I wasn’t slim anymore, but I wasn’t on the heavy side either.
My lifestyle wasn’t the best but I also wasn’t that unhealthy.
“Bro, I’m telling you, I can't go back to my elementary school days,” I responded.
“After graduating college and passing the board exams, I will start hitting the gym.”
I got into the best shape of my life when I was 22. I was done with school and I had just entered the workforce.
I got myself a gym membership and started working out with some friends and cousins regularly. I would head straight to the gym immediately after work almost everyday. I started eating healthy.
On weekends, I would play indoor football with my teammates from high school. I even founded a football club with my high school coach!
Weight was low, muscle definition was visible, confidence was through the roof!
“I want to live and stay like this forever.”
Late 2013 was when I started to fall off the fitness track. It was the same year my family and I immigrated to the United States.
I got too complacent thinking I would be "fine."
This is the biggest disappointment in my adult life.
Letting go of something I worked so hard for.
I absorbed the bad habits and the unhealthy culture almost seamlessly from the people around me. Big servings of food here, parties and drinks over there. Living life in the fast lane!
I thought this is all fine since everyone else around me is doing the same thing.
“You are who you surround yourself with.”
I thought working at a labor intensive industry for my main job and working at a theme park as a second job would be enough to keep my health and fitness in check.
At the end of every day, all I was looking for was comfort food. No time and no interest in buying and preparing healthier options.
People assumed I was in good shape. People assumed I still worked out. This was all on the outside.
I moved to the other side of the state in 2018 for work. I began working in an office setting where almost all day I am in front of the computer. I was also living a very stagnant lifestyle.
This is not good.
I do not want to go back to how I looked when I was in grade school.
I knew I had to change.
Nowadays, I’m in a much better spot. I got serious about my physical health again. I go to the gym regularly, although my nutrition could still use some work.
Could it be the age? Slower metabolism? Not exerting enough effort when training? Still not having a healthy enough lifestyle?
I’m still nowhere near where I want to be but I have taken the first few steps to get back on track.
As I work towards that physical health, I also need to make sure my mental health is taken care of.
I can’t afford to drop the ball again.
Photo by me. Circa 2013.