That day, I sat on my bed, my back reclined against the headboard as I let my hazy mind wander miles away from reality. Tears streamed down my cheeks. Somehow, it felt safer... to be locked in a world where nothing bothered me... where I wasn't reminded of a failing career.
So I thought. But as minutes passed, the reality of everything pierced me deeply.
Should I tender my resignation letter and put my curriculum vitae out there? Working with Stonez Bank meant working with uncertainty; you never knew when you'd be laid off. And ever since our Team Leader, Mr Donald, absconded with the company's money, the five of us working directly under him had been made to face the penalty of working our asses off for months, covering for his mess.
“...until he's found,” our BM had said.
We may get our jobs back but that may take months.
I still remember the harsh voice of the Branch Manager that Friday afternoon. What a weekend package for his most dedicated workers!
Well, good for him — Mr Donald who had fled — at the expense of our jobs. Sylvia resigned immediately. Tony's pleas fell on deaf ears. Merit resigned two weeks later. And Tania? A little inch of hope had been pulling her to the office since then.
The creaking sound of the door pulled me back to consciousness. My eyes widened in shock at the sight of a part of my husband's body peeking through the half-open door. He cast me a simple glance as his face fell. I jumped down, perplexity almost killing me. I rushed to him.
“Babe, what's wrong?”
Without uttering a word, he handed me a brown envelope. I received it curiously, my alarmed eyes travelling from his hand to his face again as I hastily harvested the white sheet of paper inside. It didn't take me ten seconds to feed my eyes.
Now it was my turn to be quiet. A feeling of darkness washed over me so that I had to hold the door to steady myself.
My husband's business plaza had just been marked for demolition with barely any compensation from the government! I held my banging head as though it was falling off my neck. No, this wasn't happening to us. No way!
My husband trudged to the bed and took off his suede shoes. Still agape, I watched him climb into the bed and lift up the duvet.
“Please, I want to be left alone,” he uttered calmly.
Just then, I felt a soft touch on my arm. Instinctively, I looked down — our only daughter, Maris stood with an empty plate, grinning.
“Mommy, I want more pasta.”
The weeks that followed were hell, if that's the best language. My husband withdrew into himself most of the time. On a few occasions, I caught him crying at midnight. Those sights broke me more. And more because I couldn't help the situation. I missed my sweetheart. Maris missed her Father.
One Friday, after dropping Maris off at school, I returned home and banged the door hard, almost screaming out my lungs. I was done fighting, done crying. I was done with Stonez Bank!
It was not enough that we had to sleep on an empty stomach the day before. Maris' school fees were due for payment, and so was rent. My kitchen was crying for provisions. Everything seemed to be against me. And every one of us was growing apart!
I crashed to the ground, tearing up and lamenting bitterly.
“How long will I hope for things to get better?”
I stood up, screaming, cussing, and asking questions.
Just then, the door opened. My husband stood there, his aura unclear. We stared at each other for a while before he walked up to me. Without uttering a word, he pulled me into his embrace and held me, his hands running over my back like a father petting his worried child.
After a while, he led us to a two-seater couch, the lingering silence raising questions in me. I looked at his bright eyes and willed for him to speak.
“My love,” he began softly as his gaze rested on me. “I know I've not been here. I'm sorry. I'm here now. For you. For us.”
I swallowed a lump of saliva, unsure of which question to throw first.
“What happened?”
He sighed first, then found my fingers and held them tenderly.
“I lost a part of me when my building was marked for demolition. These weeks have been tough, however, I've decided to see things from the bright side. My withdrawal has only been due to personal reflection. But I'm sorry it affected us.”
Silence filled the air, but in my mind, there were a thousand questions.
He went on. “A former business partner and a few friends have decided to help get me back on my feet. I know it's a big sacrifice for them, but I see real friends who are willing to show that one good turn deserves another. This is good news.” He beamed.
I didn't realise I was tearing up again until he dabbed some tears off my eyes.
He let his eyes bore into my soul again as he picked another tone. “Baby, I know things are not as you've envisioned, but do not worry. A good job will come. Stonez or not, just stay still, I'm right here with you.”
In that moment, I felt my fears melting slowly. Not only was my husband back, but the feeling that everything would be alright renewed my courage again.
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