I was standing in the middle of a baseball field waiting to propose marriage to my ex-boyfriend.
Like a deer caught in headlights.
Thousands of expectant eyes looked on as I stood in my oversized jersey with a hole that I was currently hiding by tucking it in my armpit.
It all went back to a pre-covid era when I was desperate for a promotion. I work in a PR agency and had been stuck in the same position for years. At that time, I was dating Steve who was a minor league baseball player.
One fine day, my boss had called me in her cabin. I'd always looked up to her, her networking and people management skills were always en pointe. She is a statuesque brunette with sun-kissed skin and bright brown eyes.
"Mara, it's that time of the year again. Your performance appraisal is here. While you do your tasks diligently, your networking skills leave a lot to be desired."
I'd looked down at my clasped hands.
"I heard through the office grapevine that you're dating Steve Ya. He's getting quite popular and I'm sure his team will need expert PR representation. I won't beat around the bush, arrange a meeting with Steve and his team and help us get the account."
There was a massive inner struggle in my mind. I'm not someone who likes to use friends and family for favors, it makes me feel dirty. On the other hand, I needed that promotion to pay-off mortgages and not have so many junior people above me.
After a few hours, I'd arranged a meeting between Steve and my boss because I thought every team needed PR and our company was the best.
I was doing them a favor.
The next day Steve had sat next to me at the cafe, and he'd stopped mid-conversation. He'd looked like a blowfish with his open mouth as my boss Rania walked in wearing a tight blazer dress.
"Mr. Ya, you're much more handsome in person."
Steve had mumbled something inaudible.
You know that feeling when you see something falling from within your grasp but you don't have the strength to grab it back?
I'd become invisible as Steve and my boss hit it off.
Three days later, his team had signed with our company and the next day when celebrations were scheduled, the government had declared a lockdown.
Regardless, Steve had sneaked out of our shared apartment. I'd looked out the window as he'd sat down in a car across the street. The make of the car was the same one that my boss had.
I'm not proud of what I did next but as I crawled around the car, I sat behind the fence of the neighbouring house to eavesdrop.
"I have an image Steve, in PR, image is everything. I can't date my employee's ex."
"Rania, I like Mara, but I think I love you. Everything with her feels so mundane. I can't stop thinking about you."
I'd heard enough. After a hearty bout of crying sitting next to a pile of clothes next to my washing machine, I'd broken off with Steve.
To my surprise, he'd protested a lot and denied any relationship with Rania. But I had been firm.
I'd spent the covid lockdown period alone, brewing with anger and unable to face Rania online. Until one day she'd arranged a call between us.
"There are rumors going around that I stole Steve from you. It has been hurting my image. I've come up with a plan. The baseball stadium will host a game with limited capacity when the lockdown is over. You're going to propose to Steve."
I'd laughed out aloud.
"You've got some nerve..."
"You know Mara that your promotion was provisional and can be rolled back? You'll have to pay back the wage difference."
So, here I was about to propose to Steve. My heart was beating wildly and the hot dogs I'd had for lunch were swirling unpleasantly in my stomach.
The crowd cheered as Steve approached me. I looked from Steve to Rania and threw up all over him.