#fastandfurious | The Ink Well Fast and Furious Festival - Day Six / Alice

It is half past seven in the evening. I'll be home an hour later than usual. Daniel will have had no choice but to attend to the children's dinner, which is a good thing in all the hustle and bustle of the day. I can imagine him in a tangle trying to crack the eggs for the omelette. He had never washed a dish before the downsizing and had to stay at home so I could go out to work. Now I will come in and he will tell me in detail everything he has had to do. He will tell me how many towels he washed and how many plates and cutlery and he will complain to me about the order in the cupboard that prevents him from finding what he is looking for at any given moment. It's been six months since we reversed our roles, he stays with the kids while I go out to work. He still sends me so many messages, asking me about things around the house, it's unbelievable.

When he was working I never needed to ask him anything. He's a good man, but now I feel like I'm married to a stranger. I don't recognise him without his work clothes and to be honest, as unbelievable as it may seem, I'm starting to get annoyed with his verbosity. I have so many things still to sort out in my mind regarding this project I'm starting at work that I wish he wouldn't talk so much. Sometimes I feel guilty about this and wonder if when he was working outside he had the same feeling I have now. A boredom with the utter monotony of domestic life and a clear desire for the morning to come and escape from home.

Sometimes I am curious enough to ask him that, but something inside me holds me back. I think it's fear of hurting her with my questions, of making her impotent, her current inability to generate resources for the family. I imagine that when I go out to work he is left thinking about the contrast between going out every day and the reality of staying at home. I feel that pressure inside me all day long. It's like he's telling me without words when he's leaning against the bathroom door, watching me grooming myself. That's why I've given up doing my make-up at home. I no longer need a mirror to do it on my way to work. And although I keep my make-up on during the day, I am careful to clean my face when I return.

Today, since I had to work an extra hour I will have to endure more scrutiny from her. He will ask me if there is a new client and how my boss treated me at work, if we had coffee or if there is a possibility of a raise. I know that his questions are a result of his jealousy and lack of self-confidence. That's why I'm making such an effort to please him, to cheer him up. Now I'm going to get the children's breakfast ready, tidy up the house a bit, put the children to bed. Putting my head on the pillow, I'll fall asleep until the alarm clock goes off.

There are hours left in my day! I'm thinking of staying up after Daniel is asleep to have at least an hour of silence.