That was all he wanted; a baby. He wanted to wake up in the morning to cries from a toddler, then he would rush up to put some milk in her bottle and stick it into her wailing mouth. He wanted to hold her in his arms and suddenly turn his nose away in disgust because she had pooped and it was reeking.
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He wanted to hold her to burp after eating and have her drool over him. Just like Adeline always did.
“It's not natural for a man to want a baby this much, and for the meaningless meanings he's giving too!” He heard his wife, Bloom, tell her mother over the phone some weeks ago.
How come nobody understood him? Why was it okay for women to crave babies like his mother did even in her old age but now that he wanted one, they all made it seem like a big deal?
He knew his love for babies came from being Adeline's mother. His mother had fertility issues and had managed to give birth to him sometime in her 30s. There were complications after he was born so his mother was advised not to have any more children.
According to his father, she seemed to be okay with it until he turned 10. Then she started to feel lonely when he went to baseball practice and started whining for another baby.
His father ignored her for 2 years but when she sat up every night to cry her eyes out, he had no choice but to budge.
Three months later, she was confirmed pregnant.
Since his mother did not survive Adeline's pregnancy, and his father was too hurt to try to take care of her, he was left with all of the responsibility. Thankfully his grandmother was still alive so he learned all the lullabies, how to feed and burp his sister, how to cradle her against his chest using a blanket, and how to ride her legs when she was having colic.
That was when his obsession with babies began.
Now that Adeline was a full 20 years and he was 32 and married, he wanted that experience again.
“I'm not ready to have a baby, Matt. We've talked about this. There's a full life ahead of me, a career I cannot compromise. If I start having babies now, everything will be on hold” Bloom complained when he spoke to her about her conversation with her mother the other night.
“You don't understand, Bloom. I don't want you to take care of the baby. Adeline was born and never even suckled on her mother's breasts for one day. The bottle did all of that and today she's fine”
“Which responsible mother skips breastfeeding her child? I want to have a baby too, Matt. Maybe not just now” Bloom said and walked out in her usual sashay.
Matt ran a unisex salon just outside town and in the 6 years that his salon had been running, he had 3 branches across town already. His job was to go to each of the branches 3 days a week and during the remaining 4 days, he was either resting or working on a book he titled “The Perks of Mr Perkinson”, it was a children's book he was planning to publish.
He knew there was only one person he could talk to about his baby fever so he got dressed and went over to his dad's.
“Hey, son! How are you? Come have a seat, I'm preparing barbecue”
Matt poured from the carton of orange juice sitting on a table on the porch then drank deeply as his father dropped a plate of barbecue in front of him.
“How are you dad? You look tired”
“And so do you. Living alone has its ups but the downs are more evident.” His father took the glass from Matt and poured some of the juice into it. “What about you? Are you doing good with Bloom?”
“Yeah, we're all good. Just the baby thing”
“Matt, don't push Bloom…”
“I'm not pushing, Dad. We've been married for 4 years. I just wish upon a star that I would have the experience I had with Adeline once again”
“So this is about Adeline,” his father tucked some meat into his mouth. “Matt, you're obsessed with the baby version of your sister. I was scared you wouldn't get married with the way you love her”
“Adeline was such a sweet baby, I just want mine. Is that too much to ask?”
His father shook his head, “Give her time, Matt. Or you guys should make a one-year plan. You've waited 4 years, it's okay to want your own child. Just don't push her okay? You know the way Bloom can be”
Bloom was his father's best friend's daughter and as much as the union was arranged, Matt liked her a lot. He didn't want a baby to come in between them. Funnily, Bloom had never given him a sensible explanation as to why she didn't want a baby apart from work.
When she returned that evening, her eyes were swollen and her mascara was ruined.
“Hey, what's up?” He went to hold her from behind, that was the easiest way he could make her calm down.
She handed a home pregnancy test strip with 2 conspicuous blue lines on it. Matt screamed in excitement.
“I wanted to tell you sooner but I wasn't sure,” she said, lifting watery eyes to his. “I don't want to be a mom yet, It's going to ruin my career, I'm this close” she brought her index finger and thumb together, “this close to being made branch manager of the fashion line, I can't do that with a baby”
Matt turned her around and took her hands in his, “Sometimes, we can never be prepared enough for our blessings. We just have to accept it. Baby, this child is a gift from God, if God didn't want us to have this child, she wouldn't have come now after 4 years”
Bloom put her arms around Matt, “Matt, you know I'm only good at figures. I don't know the first thing about a baby, I'm so scared”
“I know sweetie and I know exactly how to take care of one, that's why we're such a good match. We're in this together, okay?”
She sniffed and raised her eyes to him once more, “You'll be the one staying up at night and changing diapers. I'll just do the numbers and budget for the month”
Matt kissed the top of her head, “That's okay baby, I don't mind”.