She’d always been a friend of brewing storms. She loved those rich dark clouds, the powerful winds that were usually accompanied by dark, melodious tunes. She loved how the wind swayed those magnificent trees from left to right like they were singing violent praises to God. She loved the blinding flashes of lightning, as she knew it would surely give way to the murderous cackle of thunder. Everything no normal person would love. Maybe it’s because she was given birth on the night of a terrible storm.
It was funny, however, that the storms did not share her sentiment. As she sat outside, enjoying the storm that usually precedes torrents of rain, she thought through her life. It was quite amusing that every vile thing that had ever happened to her, happened during a storm.
She had been eight years old, quietly enduring the life of having parents who loved their carefree, partying lifestyle to her. And till the very end, it remained so, for as they were returning from their decadent nightlife one night, driving way above the speed limit, they collided with an oncoming truck at a sharp bend in the road. She had gotten to know this from the social worker that came the following day to pick her up.
Or when she’d turned eighteen, basking in the thrills of her newfound freedom, delirious with the pride that came with youthful exuberance, she’d unwittingly found herself in the same situation as her parents did. In the van that had comprised of her four best friends, singing at the top of their voices, they were unaware of the felled tree ahead, and the last thing she remembered was spinning on a thin, black sheet of glass as her world was plunged into darkness.
She’d lost an eye that day, as well we her four friends, literally. Sometimes she questioned why she was the only one left to live. She didn’t have an enriching, glorious life so why her? Maybe the man upstairs just wanted her to continuously live a stormy life. She laughed bitterly to herself, the irony not lost on her.
She thought about her husband. Her sweet-faced David, who had shown her unconditional love, and had stood by her side at the worst of times. When she’d found him or rather he, her, she thought that the heavens had finally decided to smile at her. That she would finally have a happy life, for the first time in forever.
She remembered their last conversation. She wondered why he'd brought it up. She knew now.
"Sometimes I want a better life," David began.
"But what's wrong with our life now?" She'd said, surprised at the twist in the happy conversation they had been having.
"I don't know.... sometimes I feel like my whole life's been a waste."
"You think I'm one of the wasted aspects of your life?" She'd muttered, her voice breaking.
He had shut down after then, wrapping his hands around her and promising her that he'd never leave her. She'd believed him. And why wouldn't she? But she was proven wrong because, after yet another stormy night, she woke up to an empty bed. Thinking that her David had gone for one of his early morning walks, she waited. And that she did for a long while because he never came back. The last she heard of him, he was hitchhiking in the mountains with some beautiful lady by his side. Fifteen years of marriage for nothing. What a waste!
At this point, she decided. to end her reveries of woe. She took her shaky hand and rubbed her papery cheeks. And found tears. She hadn’t realized she had started crying. And why wouldn’t she? Of everything she has faced, the loss of David was the only one that still stung.
Some object suddenly hit her in the face. She looked up to see an angry black sky. The storm had picked up. This one looked like it would be extremely fearsome. She decided to go inside but then stopped, a wry smile sweeping her face.
Why not end it all here?
There really was nothing to go back to. She had no family and no friends. In fact, all she had was the little cabin she and David had lived in. And the memories made in that one constantly haunted her anyway. She laughed as she sat back down on the reclining chair. Her whole life had been a cruel joke. But never again. The stormy night wasn’t going to take her by surprise again. She would end it all.
And so she remained. Sitting calmly as the winds howled, and the trees shook, she closed her eyes and took it all in. She didn’t see the big branch as it hit her squarely in the head, but as she toppled to the ground, smashing her temple on a sharp stone that has just been lying there, there was a calmness in her heart and a smile on her face.
