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"You are not a commodity to be possessed. When considering a life partner, don't allow money or wealth to be the only defining factor. I am talking to you ladies. If a man comes your way with a clear-cut career path and he has all it takes to start a family, don't turn him down because he isn't a millionaire. Both of you can make the millions together. Money is important, but that shouldn't be the only criterion to get married to a man; else you may regret it," the pastor concluded his message to the spinsters in the gathering.
Throughout his speech, I felt like he was talking to me directly. My mind reflects back to my relationship experiences in the last three years.
"I can't suffer with any man. It's better I cry in a mansion than laugh in mud house. Can there ever be laughter in lack?" I asked my friend Cynthia, who was convincing me to accept the proposal of my boyfriend, Joshua.
"Joshua is a hardworking young man. You can achieve great things with him. Go beyond the immediate financial status," Cynthia insisted that I consider his proposal.
Out of anger, I walked out on her.
"Can Joshua pay for my perfume?" I asked myself as I walked out of the restaurant where Cynthia had joined me to take lunch. "See figure 8," I turned around to admire my shape. "If you must have this permanently, you must be able to maintain it," I concluded.
I was only dating Joshua for the fun of it and not for marriage. I was waiting for the right person to come and displace him.
Joshua called me many times before I got home. I didn't respond to any of the calls. Checking my social media handle, a direct message from him was the first that I read.
'Please, give me a chance to prove my love to you. I see us moving mountains in love and unity. Accept my proposal, please."
"Why are you stalking me, Joshua?" I asked no one in particular. I hissed over his message and returned to my feeds to go through posts on my friends' walls.
"Is this not love? What stops me from having this kind of experience?" I marveled at a newly wedded couple that was having their honeymoon at a very expensive tourist site in Ethiopia. The wife flooded his wall with pictures of their adventures.
"I can't get married to someone that can't even pay for a flight ticket to have our honeymoon within the country. I am not interested," I declared.
In what Cynthia believed was too harsh, I blocked Joshua on all my social media platforms. I deleted his number as well. He made attempts to reach out to me with other phone numbers, but each time I recognized his voice, I dropped the call and blocked the number immediately.
"I hope you don't regret this action of yours," said Cynthia.
"Come off it, babe. I am old enough to make a decision and stand by it."
Joshua accepted his fate and moved on.
Shortly after then, I met another man, Bright. It was love at first sight.
I was at the supermarket to get groceries. He alighted from his Ferrari to get something from the supermarket too. His beard was dark and well trimmed. A tall, handsome guy with broad shoulders. I had to admire his looks. I smiled as I saw him enter the supermarket.
"We are heading to the same destination; our path may cross today. I have to really appear attractive and sexy." I pulled off my jacket, leaving me only with a more attractive inner blouse. I picked my perfume from my bag and applied it afresh.
I went into the supermarket with full confidence. I entered inside and realized that he was at the milk section. I needed to buy milk too, so I went to his direction. Just when I was contemplating how to start a conversation with him, I got a tap on my back.
"Hi, I am Bright. I wish to compliment your appearance. You smell nice. What's your perfume brand? I love it."
I was blown away with the conversation.
"Thank you for the compliment. I am Jenifer. I responded to him with my teeth revealing themselves from a long smile. I use Providence perfume."
"What a coincidence! You use Providence perfume, and I take it as a divine providence to meet a damsel like you," he responded to me.
"I love your sense of humor." Our smiles transformed into laughter.
We walked past ourselves and we continued our individual shopping. I was disappointed that he didn't extend the conversation to the point of asking for my contact or giving me his card. I rounded up my shopping and headed outside. The first direction my eyes went to was the parking lot where he parked his Ferrari. I saw Bright leaning by his car. I summoned the courage to look the other way as I walked past him.
"Hi, Jenifer."
I turned around as if I never knew someone was there.
"Hello, Bright. I never knew you were still around."
"Can you spare me a few minutes of your time?" He requested.
"That's not a problem at all. I trekked the few meters to meet him by his car.
"I wish to know you beyond this place. I am getting late for an appointment. I decided to hold on for a while so that I can at least give you my card, if you wouldn't mind. I want us to sit down and chat on a later day."
He opened his car door and brought out a bundle of cash and his card.
"Please, give me a call, he said as he handed the card and the bundle of cash to me.
That was the beginning of my dating experience with Bright. We connected a few days later, and I fell in love totally. Bright was controlling money like sand. Before I request anything, I would see the alert of the bank transfer from Bright.
We dated for three years, and throughout this period I didn't hear anything from anyone regarding Joshua. For some time after I broke up with him, he used to reach out to Cynthia, but he cut off communication with her later.
The going between Bright and me was smooth until the day we had an august visitor. I went to Bright's house to spend the weekend with him as usual. Very early in the morning, I heard a knock at the gate, and upon peeping through the window to see who was at the gate, I saw tens of policemen outside with two vans. I rushed to meet Bright, who was busy with his laptop in his working space.
"Policemen are at the gate."
He flung his robes and went to the window to peep and confirm what I said.
"Babe, we have to be smart now. Every part of this building is bulletproof. I have locked everywhere. We will be indoors till they leave this premises."
"I don't understand you, dear. Are you hiding anything? Why are you running away from the police?"
"We will discuss when they leave. For now let's just stay and watch till they leave. This is the handiwork of one of my clients."
Bright sat on the bed with his head bowed. I stood by the tinted windows, and I saw the police making frantic efforts to get access to the building. I was almost peeing in my pants.
"Bright, open the door and let the police get access. What if they finally access the building and arrest us? Resisting arrest is a crime."
The efforts of the police yielded fruits. They got access into the building against the so-called security that Bright boasted of. The policemen broke into a strong room in the house. I was hoping the ground would open and swallow me when I saw the cache of weapons that were being packed out of the room. Both of us were handcuffed and taken to the police station. I faced the music of the law for three months before my lawyer could prove my innocence. I was acquitted while Bright and his gang members, who were later arrested, were sentenced by the judge.
Bright, who had prided himself as a real estate mogul, was convicted of kidnapping and armed robbery. I almost cried out my eyeballs that day. On our way from the court, my ever-supportive friend, Cynthia, showed me a post on her social media platform. I saw Joshua have a good time with his family as a well-established accountant in the highest-paid corporation in the country.
It was in November that I was acquitted by the court.
Coming to the present, I juxtaposed my experience with the pastor's message, and I vowed that it was time to have a change of mindset.
"I am entering this new year with a resolution. I will never allow my preference to be guided by only money, wealth, or anything materialistic. I can start anywhere with someone I genuinely love and indeed move mountains together."