Claire and I were inseparable during our early teen days. We always did everything together. Anyone could tell that what we had was real and unbias, a clear representation of true love. She was my ride or die, we were so close that some folks nicknamed her "my better half", while others called her "my partner in crime". You would not talk down on Claire where i was, i was ready to defend her till infinity and she was ready to do likewise, any day and time.
A few years after, we were now young adults done with high school and ready for college or the university as it is called in our part of the world. We applied for the same institution and studied together, bounced information off each other and even attended preparatory lectures together. We had the whole thing planned, how we'd live together and all. The day of the entrance exam came and we did our best and spent the rest of the time waiting on the results.
The results came and we did well, yes, the both of us did well! However, my heart was broken when my page reflected not admitted while Claire got in. Mixed feelings ate me up all through because i had to be happy for my friend while dealing with my sadness at the same time.
It was easier for me to get over not being admitted because Claire was still around, we resumed or usual activities and i was happy once more. Nevertheless, my happiness was short lived because Claire had to resume classes tomorrow! It then dawned on me that my bestie was leaving me behind. I stood there on the driveway shedding tears uncontrollably while Claire waved me from the back seat of her father's Mercedes.
The nights were soon lonely afterwards and so were the days that followed. My once radiant smile which peoole complimented often, was nowhere to be found. I woke up with tears and slept with tears for the first few weeks after Claire left. My life was in shambles and there was nothing i could do. My mom however motivated me to channel my emotions into preparing hard and well, to join claire next year and that i did.
I tried to reach out to claire through calls, texts and mails but they were mostly unanswered. My heart and heard began to think all sorts if thoughts like has she replaced me with someone else? Does she now hate me? Am i even still her bestie?
I could barely sleep these days because Claire had abandoned me. One afternoon my Mom called out to me that my cell phone was ringing. I was upstairs and didn't feel like getting my phone because i was reading so i asked her to check the caller ID and guess what, it was Claire. The speed with i came downstairs still baffles me till today.
It felt so good to hear her voice. "I'm sorry for not reaching out all this while" she said after we exchanged Hi's. I was all too quick to forgive her because i had missed her. We talked for awhile then i asked her while she wasn't answering calls nor replying to texts. Her reply broke my heart in two, infact it set my teeth on the edge but i just didn't want to react. "You won't understand it because you're not yet in the Uni" she had said to me.
Claire said that to me! Like she said that to me!
Anyways, she had invited me to her martriculation ceremony and i was going with her Mom and Dad. The ride there was quiet becuase i was mostly too excited to speak. I just wanted to see her. Getting there i was beyond shocked.
Claire ran towards us and hugged me. She was happy to see us at least that was how it looked. She wore a plain black dress which she looked pretty in. A few mins later, another girl in the same black dress which Claire had worn approched us. She was introduced as Debbie and Claire called her "my new bestie". At the sound of that, i felt nauseated. I basically threw up in my mouth. How was it possible to have 2 besties? Was i even still her bestie? Is that why they were wearing the same outfit? These thoughts ravaged my mind.
Pictures were taken and smiles filled the air but i was finding it difficult to smile. I know i had earlier said i forgave her for what she said, now i just couldn't forgive her for this. My once beautiful and innocent Claire dosen't care about my feelings anymore. The world has found my Achilles heel and was clearly using it against me. Seeing debby smile and hold my best friend like it was hers set my teeth on edge once again, far beyond the edge infact.
I was like a rain soaked puppy the ride back home. I quickly ran upstairs to my room and fell face flat on ny bed. I cried all night! The morning came with decisions i had made all night. I was going to ignore Claire and focus on myself. I would study hard and get into school and if Claire wants to pretend I didn't exist, i would do the same after all, she was not the only one in the world.
Fast-forward a few years after, Claire and i started talking again. She was back home for the holiday and since i was resuming with her next session, there was alot to talk about. I was finally in the Uni guys and i was happy. Claire's parents and mine insisted that we stayed together and so we got an apartment off campus and started to stay together. The first few weeks were okay and seemed normal until things started falling apart again. Apparently she had picked up alot of habits in the 1 year we spent apart and I couldn't take it at all. She'd use the kitchen and leave it messed up, she'd forget to do the dishes, i did the cleaning alone and the likes and everytime i brought it up she said she'd change and do better and she clearly didn't.
Finally i realized that what Claire and i had was in the past and was lost forever. She was now an adult and so was i and things were going to change from now on.
Living with Claire for the years i spent in Uni was constantly a battle within me. The things and people she hung out with constantly set my teeth on the edge and turned my insides out but i was not the boss of her therefore my hands were tied. We slowly moved from being besties to good friends and then to complete strangers.
School is over now and we've gone our separate ways but i still cherish the good times we had, cos that's all i have left to hold on to. A broken sisterhood and sweet memories!
