Nothing could feel up the space Cynthia left when she died. We were best friends, Cynthia and I. We grew up not so far from each other so it was no surprise we went to the same school. She was perfect, never in my entire life had I met someone as perfect as she, long dark natural hair with a killer smile that always sent butterflies down my stomach.
"When are you coming over? Mom said I should invite you over for dinner"
Our family were close, her mother always teased about her and I getting married when the time was right. We thought it was yucky but what did we know? we were kids.
"Have you heard the new John legend song? I love it and I want to hear you sing it"
That was another thing, we had the same taste in music. Cynthia loved to hear me sing, she would spend hours listening to me sing while she laid down on anything close, the floor or her bed. We shared a connection and we didn't even know it.
Things got harder when we both got admitted into different universities in different states and like every long distance relationship, it was easy to grow apart. We tried our best with calls and texts but it didn't work out the way we thought. We were living different lives and and sooner or later, the calling and texting was going to stop.
Going back home was exciting, I got to see my best friend again knowing so well she would have a ton of stories to tell, she liked gossip and I enjoyed listening to her talk.
"I hate my school, everybody is so mean and the lecturers look like they want to kill you everytime"
"Maybe you should switch to my school, it's the opposite of everything you just described"
"Well if I switched, I wouldn't get to see Jason anymore"
"Jason? Who's Jason?"
"He's a guy I have a crush on, he's tall and handsome and smart. We have some classes together but he isn't in my department."
I didn't want to admit it and I never really noticed it before but that statement broke my heart. We were friends, best friends to be exact and I didn't know I had feelings for her up till that point. I couldn't tell her, the fear of losing a friend because I wanted something more weighed heavily on me.
"Wow, I didn't know you liked dark guys"
"I didn't know I liked dark guys either. What about you? Like anybody?"
I shouldn't told her at that point but I was a coward.
"No, not anybody in particular, it's just me and my books"
"Knowing you, you probably chased all of them away, I'm sure you'll meet somebody. Have you heard that Billie Elishe song?"
"Which one?"
"When the party's over"
"Yes, so many times"
"That's my favorite song now, could you sing it to me?"
"You know I can never say no"
My voice filled the room as she listened to me sing.
I got a call that morning after I had just walked out from my lecture hall, Cynthia's mom was calling. I wasn't surprised, she always did this sort of thing especially if she wanted to send me money.
"Good afternoon ma, how are you doing?"
"Where are you?"
"I just finished from a class, is anything the problem?"
"It's Cynthia, she got hit by a bus, we rushed her to the hospital but she didn't make it, she's gone."
Words as cold as ice, my phone dropped from my hands, it felt like my body was locked in a freezer and thrown in the coldest sea.
I couldn't eat for weeks, nothing filled me up. I became thinner than usual, my grades dropped in school. My best friend was gone and I never told her how I felt. Connecting with people was tough after that. It took sometime before I was able talk with people again. Nobody was like her.
About three years later, I was sitting outside my drawing studio trying to collect fresh air around midnight when I heard someone playing Cynthia's favourite song, I walked to a girl sitting at the corner of a law lecture hall.
"Nobody listens to that song again", I said.
"Well not me, it's been my favorite song for as long as I could remember”
"I used to have a friend that love that song too"
"Used to?"
"Yes, she died about three years ago"
"Oh, I'm sorry for your loss"
"Don't be, do you mind if I sit?"
"Not at all but I'm going back to read soon".
We talked for a while, it was the first time I had had a long conversation with anybody in three years. She wasn't Cynthia but I felt at peace knowing I met someone who loved the same music she did, her name was Elizabeth.
Elizabeth helped me overcome my fear of meeting people new and just like Cynthia, she was a great conversationist. I still listen to Cynthia's favourite song up till now. I always feel like she's around whenever I do, I miss her so much.