“You have such a big hive of unarranged hair on your head. I don’t understand if that’s a fashion not getting a haircut or you’re too lazy.”
“There is nothing about fashion about this, but you would know only if you have to for a haircut. It’s time consuming and I’m too busy. Try a haircut and see.”
“Why should I try getting a haircut?”
“What is the problem? Don’t women get a haircut? There are millions of women who get their hair cut. It’s very much in fashion for women to keep short hair as men do.
“I don’t care about those women.“
“Why?”
“I don’t understand why these women make their hair look like men’s, and then wear trousers?”
“Well, because of your bad words for women, those noble women will not stop wearing trousers or disappear from this world under any circumstances.
“By the way, I agree with you on this. A woman should not wear trousers or slacks and she certainly should not smoke cigarettes either, especially mine.“
“But you are the one who smokes a couple of boxes in a day.”
“Because I’m a man. I’m allowed to smoke.“
“Who the heck permitted you to smoke? I will now order only one box every day.”
“And if you limit my cigarettes, from where will your friends get cigarettes that come to meet you?”
“When do they smoke?”
“Don’t tell me. Whenever one of them arrives, you pick up my cigarette box and take it inside, along with my matchbox. And then I call you to get my box back. I always find five to six cigarettes missing.
“They smoke five or six cigarettes? You liar, you’re saying five or six, but those poor ladies barely smoke a cigarette or two each.“
“What stops them from smoking more than one cigarette?”
“I don’t want to argue with you. You don’t have any work except making arguments with me.”
“There are thousands of works for me. But madame, what work do you do? You stay asleep all day.“
“Yes, you’re the one that keeps awake twenty-four a day and does all the house chores.”
“Maybe not the house chores, but I am always busy doing hard work. But I can say that I sleep only six hours in the night.”
“And during the day?”
“I never sleep during the daytime. I just lie down for three to four hours with my eyes closed. That gives a lot of rest to me. And all my tiredness vanishes.“
“Where does this tiredness come from? What work do you do?”
“I do a lot of work. First, I wake up early in the morning, read the newspaper, then I have breakfast, and then I get ready
for daily arguments with you.“
“This is a lot of work for you, and you should get proper wages for your work.”
“Wages?”
I mean, life after marriage is heck for the last two years. You make it a point to fight with me every day. I don’t know what the reason is for that?”
Hey, you’re blaming me for nothing”
“It is for this reason that we keep the child away from you. Men do not understand. You guys don’t even try to understand.“
“But you women never try to understand men. You find one or the other reason to start a daily show. Well, what was the matter today that prompted you to shout so much?
“For one, you haven’t gone for a haircut for the last six months! And Just look at your shirts and trousers. Why don’t you wash them?“
“Should I send them for dry cleaning? We have a washing machine?”
“First, get your head cleaned up well. It is so ugly that even God swears by looking at your hair and wants to throw you in the river to clean you up.
“So that I may go to meet him! But I have no objection to this wish of yours. Bring a bottle of kerosene from the kitchen, then pour it into my head, and fulfil your wish.
Image
“Do it yourself. If I do that to your hair, then you will find a reason to say that you’re of no use to me.“
“It’s a fact that you don’t care about anything. You do not know how to cook. You do not know how to sew. Hey, you can’t even clean the house well. Only God is the one who is taking care of our child.
“Yes, thank god, you have been doing the upbringing of our child till now. I am absolutely useless. You’re the best father in this world”
“I do not wish to say anything more on this matter. You stop this debate, for God’s sake.“
“Am I arguing? You always convert the minor discussions into big debates.
“These little things will happen when you are around! You have eaten up my mind. I have always had this much hair on my head, and you know very well that I do not have enough time to go to the hairdresser. “
“Yes, you have no free time from your busy, luxurious lifestyle”
“What a joke?”
“What work do you do? What’s your employment status? How much do you get paid? You always find something wrong with every job and make excuses when you have to work hard.“
“What hard work do you think I am not doing? I’ve been working so hard, day in and day out, on the contract I recently signed for supplying bricks.
“I think this is not you, but the donkeys carry the bricks at their backs. You must be sleeping even at your workplace.“
‘Gone are the days when donkeys used to carry the bricks on their backs. Now the trucks do the work, and I have to supervise them. I had a contract for 10 million bricks. I have to stay up all day and all night. “
“I can’t believe that you can stay awake even for one night.”
“Now, what is the use of all this? You have such a wrong opinion about me, and I know you will not believe me even after giving thousands of proofs.“
“I have lost faith in you for a long time. You are a liar of the highest grade.“
“There can be no other woman like you in the entire world. I have never lied in my life.“
“Wait, yesterday. You told me you had gone to a friend’s place, but when you drank a little in the evening, you told everything that you had gone to meet an actress.“
“That actress is the wife of my friend, not his keep. I mean, you know both of them, my friend and his wife“
“Your friends’ wives are usually either actresses or you know what I mean?“
“What’s my fault with that?“
“Is it mine?”
“How is that?”
“I am married to you. I am not an actress and certainly not a... you know what I mean!“
“I really hate actresses and those kinds of women. I am not interested in them. Do you think I can love the women whom anyone can claim?
“So why did you go see that actress the other day?”
“My friend called, so I went. Actually, he married an actress that has divorced thrice before. I attended as a witness.“
“Is that all you went there for?”
“Umm, Even after four marriages, she still looks very young. I would say that she is better than an ordinary young wife like you.“
“Go to Heck.”
“Are you coming with me?" It doesn't have to be sugarcoated, but you need to be a little more kind when you talk to your husband, be polite.
"The same goes for you my dear husband"
A dialogues based story which has nothing but dialogues. This is my second all-dialogues based story for #theinkwell community.