Come to a party, it will be fun, they'd said. Friends of friends of friends of...6 degrees of separation... That still counts, right?
Seventeen, a great age to be alive, and to be fair most of those had been good years, but lately he'd been struggling with his past; struggling to understand the deep-seated depression that had crept over him, a dark and dank veil, shuttering out the light in his world. Somewhere along the line, he had fallen off the gratitude wagon. Faith and hope had been replaced by misery and doubt. The gutters had claimed him as their own.
He opened his eyes, the room was still spinning. He clung desperately to the wall, afraid that the slightest movement would set in place a domino effect that he'd be incapable of stopping. There was a steep tilt in the floor, threatening to give way to the cracks; threatening... to take him with it.
Their smiles had stared back at him, from the yellowed pages of the old photo albums. Their pictures did not do justice. The needle marks on her neck were not visible; they lurked behind the veil of her scarf. His face stared back, but from newspaper cuttings - a local villager breaks in and steals 2 bottles of Johhny W. Sentenced to 2 months of community service.
Neonatal abstinence syndrome, just another medical term to some, but to him it defined his entry into the world. Poppies; he wore them with pride each November. How ironic! Behind the beauty of its delicate petals...the road was tarred ... the road was black... and its legacy paved a path across his soul.
He slid down against the wall of the room, collapsing onto the floor. Spiraling colour, kaleidoscopic opportunity; these days he existed for rainbows; delightful spectrums... Blank faces, open spaces.
Be still Pain! He curled into a tight ball. Walls of doubt persisted. Too many scattered memories haunted him.
Everybody is addicted to something he resolved: writing, reading, running, cycling, gambling, sex, power, nicotine, chocolate, alcohol, drugs ...sadly his parents fell into the latter 2 categories.
But was the code of addiction buried within the genetics of his makeup? Did nature trump nurture, or could he ever overcome?
Increased levels of ...altered proteins ...common in addiction.
Voices resounding inside his head.
Epigenetics marked his very being; his DNA scarred for life by those who came before him. He banged his head against the wall, rocking back and forth. This... was... not... his... fault!
He'd purposely avoided his usual crowd, stayed away from the hard stuff for months...the crack, the heroine... the dysfunction. To him, acid was just a cheap trip from life, not an addiction....it lit his imagination and revealed an alternate world of beauty and creativity to him, it allowed him an escape... but tonight he felt the safe floor slipping. Acid might help to avoid the feelings of inadequacy and despair, but enough was enough, the tightrope was no longer taut.
Tonight he had panicked, been confused, overwhelmed, the usual euphoria had eluded him. As time passed, the warped echoes were morphing back into the intelligible. Time had not stood still. Time had still been lost.
And so he made a choice. He resolved at that moment to walk away from his inheritance. 'This life was not his legacy. Yesterday no longer defined him!' source
Inheritance. - something from the past that is still important or valuable.... source - Merriam Webster
the lesson yes, not the life!
He chose to deny the one thing his birth parents had available to leave him, his nature, his code. This kid was going to be making his own rules and living by them from here on in.
When all was said and done, he strode away. This was not the life he wanted for himself.
Instead of checking out.
He chose to check-in.
He chose to write his own story.
You didn't ask for this Are you gonna be like your father was and his father was? No, this is not your legacy I have a dream for you No, this is not your legacy Cause you're my child And I will restore And just like the seasons change Ooh, this will be your legacy And just like the seasons change Writer(s): Jason Houser, Matthew Joseph West References
Nobody ever would
Caught in the middle of this dysfunction
It's your sad reality
It's your messed up family tree
And now you're left with all these questions
Do you have to carry what they've handed down?
This is not your destiny
Yesterday does not define you
No, this is not your legacy
This is not your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you
It's better than where you've been
It's bigger than your imagination
You're gonna find real love
And you're gonna hold your kids
You'll change the course of generations
This is not your destiny
Yesterday does not define you
No, this is not your legacy
This is not your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you
You're my chosen
You are loved
You are loved
All that was broken
You are loved
You are loved
Winter into spring
You're bringing new life to your family tree now
Yes you are
You are
This will be your destiny
Yesterday did not define you
Ooh, this will be your legacy
This will be your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you
Winter into spring
You're bringing new life to your family tree nowsource - Family Tree
Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Inheritance. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved January 15, 2022, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/inheritance