I stood on the building and watched her enter the train car.
"How could this happen?" I screamed in distress.
Blow up the train.
I remembered my orders clearly, but to make such a decision...
2 Days before the point of Decision
"Don't you think you guys are moving too fast?" My best friend and partner David asked me.
"Aren't you always the one who said Time waits for no man." I asked him, smiling as I got the box.
I examined the goods inside, my eyes glittering from the shine and I felt weak in the knees from the shine I imagined on her face when she got it.
"Yes, I did always say that, but the picture you just sent me. That's a big rock! In what, 3 months?" He said again over the phone.
"You can't place a price nor time limit on love." I replied smiling.
"Yes but you can use caution. Brian, you barely know her." He shouts
"I know a lot of things about her. I know her hobbies, likes and dislikes, families and I've even met some of her friends, plus I did some of my own personal research. I trust her, David." I said conclusively.
"I can't believe you're talking about trust, knowing fully well the kind of work we do." He laughs dryly.
"Brian, don't do it. That's my advice." He hung up on me.
I stood in place outside the jewellery shop, thinking of what my friend had just advised me.
It was a risk and in my life and work all I do is take risks.
With a smile, full heart and a bounce in my step, I walked to the site of the harshest mission of man.
I walked to propose.
20 Hours Before the Point of Decision
Let's meet where it all began.
I read the text sent by Brian again, to make sure I hadn't gotten any information wrong.
Then I chide myself at such a thought process, it was an even year.
Being so long in the agency had made me develop a thought process that had complicated my normal life. Reading too much information when there was really nothing there, over planning for different scenarios and over reacting when previous plans veer a little bit of course.
I gripped my hand to stop me from trying to remember every single spot we had met.
"This was our first meeting. I'm sure of it” I spoke aloud, trying to reassure myself.
My body eased up though when I saw him walking amongst the crowds.
He looked nervous and he had kept on tapping his pocket, although discreetly.
I half thought it was a weapon before he noticed me and smiled.
The smile eased me up. It wasn't a smile one could easily fake, and I would know since I've been faking smiles for 7 years now.
"Charlotte!! You came." He said, coming in for a hug.
I hugged back, using my hand to slightly brush his pocket.
A phone, card, keys and a box of some kind.
"Why wouldn't I come?" I asked him back, smiling as his smile was infectious.
"I don't know." He replied, laughing nervously again.
"Shall we?" He asked, his hand leading the way into the restaurant.
"Of course, I'm starving." I answered.
While walking inside, I was still thinking about the box, I couldn't think of it being a weapon.
No grenade I've ever come across was that clinically defined.
We got our seats and while Brian went to the washroom, I got a message from an unknown number.
My face scrunched up as the thought of work during an even year was tiring.
I quickly read through the mission briefing.
After a brief apology for reaching out to me during my off year, they told me what I was to do.
A train with a crate of weapons for our forces in the east was set to leave by 12 pm tomorrow afternoon.
There are rumors of an attack being possible on the train.
Board the train and make sure the crate gets to its destination.
I switched off the phone with a sigh, it was a simple mission that they could send anybody.
Yet they just decided to send me as I was free, regardless I couldn't decline the mission.
With a sigh I called my dealer and told him to get the gadgets ready.
After that, I simply waited for Brian.
Brian's POV
"It is time." I said, slapping short doses of confidence in me through my cheeks.
This was probably the most nervous I've been, second only to the time I crash landed a helicopter in a school's carpark.
I groaned as a sudden wave of nausea washed through my stomach again.
Okay, this definitely beat the crash landing of the helicopter.
Regardless I poured some water on my face for the nausea and cleaned up.
I had to man through this. It was just a question I would ask her.
"'Would she spend eternity with me?', nothing more, nothing less."
With the false air of confidence, I walked out of the rest room and towards my table, completely forgetting that I had to urinate in the first place.
Nothing gets you more pumped than a full bladder and an even fuller heart.
I walked towards the table and saw that the mood had slightly shifted.
We talked for a while, me trying to cheer her up and she trying to get cheered up.
I was getting my confidence back and everything was feeling a bit natural now, even the initial urge to pee had died down.
We ate our meals and were content.
Then I felt it, it was the perfect chance to ask her the question, the feel and vibe was just right.
So I stood up and took her hand, looking at her lovingly.
"What is this Brian?" She was a bit shocked by my gesture.
I went down on one knee and asked her the question.
"Charlotte, would you make me the happiest man and marry me?"
The whole room went silent, sounds of plates had halted, voices hushed and even the background music muted.
Everyone seemed to be waiting for her answer, everyone tense at the wait for her reply, me especially.
She put her hands to her mouth and her eyes became watery.
"Oh Brian.." she started and I began to smile at the thought of having a fiance.
She continued with teary eyes.
"I-I-I am so sorry." Then she took her things and left, leaving me kneeling there with the ring in my hand.
Immediately all the noise came back, everyone seemingly trying to ignore the fact that I had just been denied.
I simply stood up, plastered a smile on my face and paid the bill at the counter.
The cashier smiled back, but I saw it in his eyes, the look that screamed "I'm so sorry."
I nodded to him and he nodded back, no words spoken but plenty of feelings exchanged.
As I got to my apartment, that's when I broke down.
I started laughing at myself, the words David spoke to me replaying in my mind.
"Don't you think you're moving too fast?"
And..
"Brian, don't do it"
I had taken a risk and it had backfired.
The laughter was replaced with silence and then tears. My heart was torn.
Everything was a mess.
I laid on my bed thinking of what to do when my phone buzzed.
It was my agency sending a mission.
That was good. I need to drown this pain and hurt in my work now.
I read the mission.
A train with a crate of weapons for the enemy's forces in the east is set to leave by 12 pm tomorrow afternoon.
This train would greatly strengthen the forces and thus reduce our risk of victory.
Destroy it.
'Destruction, huh?' I thought to myself, that's good, that would help.
With a new goal in mind, I slept off.
30 Mins Before The Point Of Decision
Charlotte's Pov
I stood outside the train station, scrolling through my phone trying to reread the message and see which particular train I should enter. That's when I saw Brain's text.
Let's meet where it all began.
I held back a sob as I thought that it was also where it ended.
I was flattered and almost about to say yes to the proposal, but I couldn't.
My secret agent brain had already thought far ahead.
I was going on a mission the day after my proposal, I would go on many missions after that too.
What if I got hurt or killed or even worse, what if someone hurt him to hurt me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
All those questions made the reasonable spy in me decide against the loving woman and tell him no.
I know it hurts me as it hurts me, but best for it to be like that.
I got the train number, paid for my ticket then walked towards it to board.
I felt someone watching me then scanned the perimeter.
Satisfied, I entered the train.
Brian's point of Decision
I stood thinking upon my decision.
The war in the East had been long ongoing, and my side was about to put a stop to it.
We needed to end it.
I looked at the train that had the woman that I once loved pull out of the station.
The bombs were already in place, I had the detonator in hand.
At 10 kilometers from the station, it was a safe distance to detonate, at 12 kilometers, the detonator would lose its signal.
I looked through our photos together, betrayal and love filled my heart.
"Although our love had died. The love for my country remained."
With teary eyes, a broken heart but a strong mind, I pressed the button, blowing up the train at 11. 5 kilometers.
There was no need to think. I couldn't do it.
I ran down, calling her number to try and get her to stop.
I needed to talk to her.
"Damn my job, damn the agency and damn my heart, but I loved her and I wouldn't, I couldn't hurt her."
If perhaps I could get her off, then I could blow the train regardless.
The ringing tone rang out, I dialled again and she didn't pick.
By the time I got down, the train was already pulling out.
She was gone.
- Header Image was made using Canva
