The mic. The stage. The audience. The thud-thud rhythm that echoes from your heart to the ears just as a familiar name, your name is announced.
You can feel tiny beads of perspiration trickling from your hairline, down the sides of your face. This is it. This is the competition whose winner gets to join the global world tour amidst the most popular musicians from every country.
This is the highest peak of your life.
You've prepared for this day since you were four. On that fateful morning you closed your innocent eyes, opened your tiny mouth and sang along to your favorite song, ‘Never Enough’ from The Greatest Showman.
When you hit the note of the chorus, the brakes squealed
and the car skidded to an abrupt halt.
You opened those blue, saucer-like eyes to see what was going on, only to find your dad and his wife staring back at you, mouths wide open.
Till this day, you remember that moment as the time that changed your entire life.
“Zara, you're up next.”
Your lashes flicker open, and like that day eight years ago, her round nose is the first thing you expect to see.
You know her face is a little wrinkled around the forehead, eyes, and lips now but you're also sure that wide smile will still be as kind as the first day.
“Zara?” A small frown tugs your lips.
These eyes…they're unfamiliar. The shape of the face is wrong, and so is the nose.
This isn't your dad's wife.
“Where's Alma?”
This woman straightens and shakes her head. You can see she's fighting hard for control, but over what?
“Honey, that's not important.” She comes back to your nose level. “You need to get on stage right now.”
Your head is shaking in defiance before she's done with her sentence. “No. I need Alma. Where is she?”
“Alma’s not here, but I am.” There's a sharp tone to her voice even as that fake, lopsided smile is plastered on her lips.
You take two steps and look into her grey eyes. “Who are you?”
“I'm mommy,” This is the first time her smile reaches her eyes.
Your mouth drops open as someone shoves a mic into your small hands and nudges you towards the stage.
Your tiny feet are suddenly moving but your mind isn't. It's stuck at the words, “I'm mommy,”.
Mommy?....Mommy!?
Sharp lights pierce your eyelids. You instinctively lift your arm to shield your eyes but you're a second too late.
That thud-thud rhythm has already moved from your heart to your head.
You were aware that you'd be the only kid in this competition. Alma made you do a solo every other day in church just so you could get used to the older faces, but right now all you can see are unhappy masks staring back at you.
“Zara Drew?”
Your lashes are fluttering wildly. You know you should respond…say something…do something..but your lips are trembling instead of speaking.
The thud-thud grows even louder. Your chest is heaving, your hands are rolling nervously around the mic.
Your eyes frantically dart to and fro the audience. She should be here. She promised.
“I may not be your mother, but I'm the woman who'll let the world know your name,” those were the words that constantly tumbled from her lips.
You never liked the fact that daddy married another woman instead of letting you know mommy, but she's the only mother you've known and you didn't want anyone else. You didn't even remember that she wasn't your mother until today.
Why do they all keep leaving?
The first tear drops and your lips overturn in a sad pout. You know you've ruined everything you've worked so hard for.
The mic slips from your hands and you turn around to leave the stage. You can hear daddy calling from the audience but you don't care.
“Zee? What's wrong?”
Tears are slipping past your eyes in torrents now. Your entire body is trembling. Your heart is doing a hard triple.
“Hey…I'm here. It's okay.”
That voice…. that's the voice you've been waiting to hear.
“Where have you been!?” You pound your fists on her shoulder, everyone is staring but you don't care.
She wraps her arms tightly around you, not minding that you're hitting her. The fragrance of her lavender shampoo filtering into your nostrils.
“I'm here Zee. I've never left.”
Your body stills. She's never left.
You throw your arms around her neck and a bubbly laugh escapes her throat.
Then you finally voice it out, “I'm scared,”
She looks into your eyes and gives the brightest smile she has. “As long as I'm here, the world will hear your name. Now let's get you cleaned up. You're up in five.”
Ps: image is not mine