Cigintung is the place where Qinan was born and raised. A place where he enjoyed his childhood with his friends. The place where he plays marbles, plays pictures, plays hide and seek, plays rubber, plays football in the courtyard of the mosque where he always gets angry when the ball hits the glass and breaks apart. Now all those games are lost in something we call the progress of time and technology. No more children playing, no games being played, no more of them feeling the beauty of our childhood. The face of his homeland is increasingly making his heart restless and there is a place in his heart that always feels uncomfortable with everything in his own homeland. Something that partly contradicts his ideals and conscience.
"I thought, there was something wrong with my homeland." Qin said. He continued, “This land is sick, and few people think about it. Where is the most beautiful sight that we rarely see nowadays is children bending over when walking in front of their parents.
There is a saying that is still attached to it and has even become a culture and belief, where parents, especially mothers, often say "women, no matter how high their education is, they will eventually grow up, why are there so many high school teachers,". The young generation who are smart have never been given the opportunity to participate in developing education, there is nothing new that is getting boring day by day, the generations just become slaves like a buffalo that fits its nose. Our movements are always restricted, I don't know what happened, don't you want to be rivaled? or indeed the dynastic system is covering up like black clouds that cover the beauty of the sky and the sun during the day. No matter how smart a person is, eventually he will be forced to become a slave, wanting to rebel can't do anything, we are always afraid of getting hurt at the end of life.
Finally in this condition a dilemma occurs for Qinan and the same young man feels the same. The difference is, if the other youths do not dare to rebel against reality, while Qinan he bravely goes against the flow of circumstances. Qinan The youth who was in the midst of growing up had many faces within him. On the one hand he proudly and confidently shows the face of unfinished development. Because of that, there is still aggressiveness, a burning spirit but often mentally weak and lacking in self-control. In this condition, this young man is more easily swayed between reality and idealism.
Everything feels foreign, friends become strangers as the development of thoughts, knowledge and experiences that occur in each of us. After the heartbreaking incident, when Qinan was in court and humiliated in front of the residents and his friends of his age in the mosque because he had defected and no longer obeyed the teacher's orders in politics. This was the last letter he sent me before he was swept away by panic, snuffed out by people who weren't ready to accept young people who love openness.
**Not like before. In the past, when we were still in the boarding school, we had one hope and one goal. Seeking knowledge and getting the blessing of the teacher. We are equally focused on racing in achievement, memorizing mathematical formulas, physics and chemistry, memorizing the tone and rhythm of seriyosa. We do not understand at all what identity and way of life are. Have not recognized various kinds of idealism in religion or nation.
We used to sleep together in the cottage, even though it was only on a torn mattress, with hand pillows and covered with gloves. I still remember,
Wake up at dawn together, Cook and eat wet together with a banana leaf or black plastic bag. The most luxurious side dishes with eggs and special fried noodles, drinking is not hygienic, drinking water like a mosque that is mossy, delicious and delicious. It's time for us to say goodbye to our friends. It is the fate of man if he does not leave, he is left behind.
There are meetings, there are farewells.
We split up, some continued to stay at home, some continued to study, some were both, and some even continued to work and get married.
In the end we parted ways. There is no human being who is fully able to guess correctly from the human type of God's creatures. We begin to find our identity and begin to recognize various ideals. We also started to have idols who sometimes even became idolized. They were Gusdur, Ghandi, Nietzsche, Stalin, Albert Camus and other prominent figures from the east and west. Not infrequently humans fight because their idols are despised.
We also learn to love the opposite sex, it turns out to be beautiful to color and change a lot, because in the past it was strictly forbidden to date at school.
Love is indeed beautiful, it made me learn to dress up and straighten my hair and wear perfume. But now it's not like it used to be. If we used to focus on memorizing and reading math formulas Now we focus on memorizing the arguments to blame and justify each other. Not like before.
Friends, I will love and miss you in my own way.**
The End
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