On a warm Sunday evening, my sister walked up to me while I was in the living room, drafting something down in my notepad.
“Good evening, sis. I have some questions I would love to ask you. If you don't mind”, she said, her tender voice, however, filled with curiosity.
Well, who am I to say no to such a sweet sister? Her smile is impossible to resist. She is not just beautiful but also has a kind heart and is the most mindful person I know. Having such a blessing as my sister is all I'm grateful for.
“How did you become so smart, brilliant, and intelligent, sis?” She began her voice imbued with reverence. “I mean, it's just so difficult to cope sometimes in class because of how tough some subjects become. I want to know how you study. I want to know your secret, sis”.
I smiled and pinched her nose playfully. “So, you've suddenly become a curious cat?” I asked jokingly. Then adopting a grave tone, I continued, “Faith, I don't have a secret to how I study. When I was at your level, I just set my mind to it.
I held her hands and looked straight into her alert eyes. “Listen, Faith, I can see how much you love studying, and I know you're as brilliant as I am, even more. But one thing I want you to know is if you set your mind to your goals, you will achieve them no matter how challenging or difficult they seem. Just believe you can do it, be determined, and don't let tough moments discourage you. Don't rush it; just take it one step at a time.
She nodded with a bright smile on her face, one that lightened up the room like a sunrise, that kind of smile that warmed my heart. As she walked away, I felt a deep sense of accomplishment. Well, I guess I gave her a good response.
But honestly, there is a story behind how I became the person she looked up to. Smart, brilliant, and intelligent. It's really a big story, one that is inextricably linked to me. Maybe it's time to blow away the cobwebs and review it.
I had social anxiety disorder, or as it's called, social phobia. I was very young, around 7 years old, still in basic 3. Well, how do I manage to do basic 3 without being held back, especially since everyone in school called me a dullard, including my teachers? They thought I was a dull student. They detest me so much that they would jeer and poke fun at me.
Whenever a teacher summoned me in the presence of all the class to pronounce the words on the board, I'd be struck with fear; I would go blank. I will just stand there confused and scared to speak. My classmates would burst into a loud laugh, mocking me. Deep down, even though I might have known what I wanted to say, the fear of being flogged or mocked by my classmates held me back. But either way, I'd be punished by the teacher and still be ridiculed by my classmates.
I had no friends, always sitting alone and lonely; I do feel like a butterfly trapped in cobwebs. Except for one particular person—Chioma. She is always there for me and stands for me. She would do my assignments for me, and when any student noticed, we would be reported and both punished. But she never left. She was the only one who cared.
At home, where my mum was supposed to be my only companion, someone I should rely on to help me assure myself I would be fine, things didn't get better. She would beat me for not doing my assignments correctly, and when she asked me questions—questions she expected me to know—and I couldn't answer or kept mute because I feared being beaten, she would lash out in anger, thinking I was only being stubborn, and berate me.
The mixture of harsh discipline both in school and at home causes me deep psychological trauma. I began avoiding social interactions just to protect myself from criticism and rejection.
I had been living with my mom all this time with my little sister. She was barely 1 year old. And my dad, a military personnel, was hardly ever around because of the nature of his job. But one miraculous day everything changed.
My mom came to school unexpectedly. I was so surprised when I saw her; she called for me, and to my shock, standing behind her was my dad.
I couldn't believe it. I ran to him, jumping into his arms, choked with emotions. I had missed him a lot. It was an amazing moment. I couldn't even hold back the tears of joy. I was so excited. The school hasn't been dismissed yet. But who cares? My dad, who has been gone for so long, was back, and that was all that mattered.
Later at home my dad broke some amazing news. Well, for me it was a life-changing one, but as for my mum, I don't think she was happy about it. He told us that he wanted to take me with him to Abuja. I was delighted beyond measure. The thought of escaping from those who detest me, the mockery, including my mum, who doesn't understand me, the pains and torment I went through in school I know she loves me and wanted me to be perfect, but the beating and pressure were too much that I just want to run away to a new environment where I won't see those mockery faces and hear those mockery laughs anymore. I would miss my little sister, but the situation felt like the only opportunity for me to find peace.
The very next day, my dad and I left for Abuja.
When we arrived, Dad took two months off from work to be with me. He noticed where I was struggling academically, and he developed time and showed me some areas on how to study. He even hired an after-school teacher. A tutor, Mr. Femi, was so kind and patient with me. He worked on my writing skills because it was so terrible and corrected my mistakes; he also helped me grow in areas where I lacked confidence.
I felt like I gained my freedom, and I'm turning into the person I always dreamed of. And thanks to my dad, who made an awesome decision. I wouldn't have thought he will be the one to Blow away all the cobwebs that were stopping me from coming out of my shell.