Kemi tried keeping her eyes open inside her dark shades. They felt heavy from the constant lack of sleep. She wheeled her small pink box into the international wing of the Murtala Mu-hammed Airport. And as usual, the place was alive with humans of different calibres. Babies crying, couples hugging each other like it was the last time they'd see each other. Families were saying their goodbyes. Cameras clicking for memories.
But they were all unlike her. She felt no emotions whatsoever in her that morning, not after a rough heartbreak from who she thought was going to be her last run in the dating pool.
She looked at the ticket in her hand for the fifth time.
"Flight 697. Lagos to Cape Town. Boarding: 8:30 a.m. One-way." It read.
She took a deep breath and tucked the ticket into her jacket pocket. Her thoughts wander in different ways.
It felt like she was running away from a life she knew. A life she felt was perfect for her. She would have relocated a long time ago with her siblings and parents to Cape Town but her love for Femi made her stay back. You wouldn't blame her, she was in love and was willing to do anything to keep it. Not after she had messed up the first time with her first love, Damilare. All because he was still a struggling guy.
Now she felt stupid. Stupid for leaving Dami and thinking that Femi, the billionaire tech entre-preneur was the real deal. She felt stupid for staying back in Lagos when she would have relocated with her family to Cape Town. She felt stupid for seeing the signs but kept hoping Femi would do better. She felt stupid for everything.
“This is it. Fresh start,” she muttered as she joined the check-in line, hands tucked inside her jacket. Her bag was by her side. She checked her phone again but there were no missed calls.
"What are you expecting, Kemi?" She whispered to herself. “I’m sorry or just checking on your message from Femi?” she asked herself. "Stop checking your phone girl. Move on. Stamp this ticket, get on that plane, and start life in a new city." Then she locked the screen quickly, like touching it too long would burn her fingers.
“Excuse me," she heard someone call from the back.
She moved aside a little to let the person pass, but her eyes caught a familiar face that made her freeze.
"Kemi? I knew it was you?" The deep voice said.
"Dami." She called back, swallowing hard at the same time. She couldn't believe it. Standing there in the flesh was the first man she had ever loved. The first man who meant well for them, but she messed it up.
Apart from a rough beard, tired eyes, and a more masculine frame. He looked the same. Smelt the same. Same brown eyes that used to watch her sleep. In his hands was a brown backpack.
“What... what are you doing here?” Kemi blinked.
Dami raised his ticket. “Flying to Cape Town,” he said.
Kemi gave a short. “You’re joking right?. You hate flying.”
"Not when you're transferred to Cape Town.”
"You got a job." She couldn't tell if she was asking or saying. She felt stupid for letting it out.
Dami paused. “You think I wouldn't? I have to survive, you know.”
The line moved, and they shuffled forward. Awkward silence crept in between them. The kind that you have a lot to ask but didn't know how to.
Kemi looked away. Then she broke the silence. “You know it's.. I don't know. But you and me, same country, same flight. Nice one universe?”
Dami chuckled. “You think it's punishing you."
She shot him a look. “Okay, I might have messed up but you should've called?"
"You asked me not to. But I still texted you happy birthday.”
She smirked and looked at him. “And I didn’t reply. You don't have to rub it on my face like that."
He replied to her stare and just nodded.
They got to the security and were cleared then they proceeded to the waiting hall. Sitting side by side, the awkwardness was still between them.
Kemi couldn't stop thinking about what Dami said. Maybe he was right. Maybe the universe was punishing her. She turned to steal a look at him but caught Dani staring at her.
“You're still beautiful,” he said in a soft voice.
She looked down quickly, pretending to fix her scarf. Her cheeks burned. His words still had the same effect on her as before. His eyes still told of his genuine feelings for her.
She wondered what was going on. Her ticket was supposed to usher her into a new life with nobody from her past. What was Dami doing there?
"Don't do that." She blurted out. She couldn't tell where that came from.
"Do what?"
"You know what your words and eyes do to me."
"But it's been four years. Wait, so are you admitting that you missed you?" Dami tried being witty.
"Of course not." She yelled.
But Dami wasn't stopping yet. He turned and pulled her closer to his body. Then, gently, he leaned in like he was going to kiss her. Kemi unconsciously shut her eyes and waited for it. Her breath steadily rose. But his lips never met hers. She opened her eyes to see Dami smil-ing at her. She immediately felt stupid.
"But you never missed me." He mocked her softly. "Thought you'd have stopped lying to yourself." He pushed back.
"I have never lied to myself." She countered.
"Yes, you have. You never loved him. It was all about his wealth for you. You knew of his es-capades yet you kept lying to yourself that he'll change."
She tried to talk but swallowed hard. Again Dami was right. He was always right and she hated him for that. It was as if he knew her more than she knew herself. And he so much en-joyed rubbing it on her face.
That was when it struck her. Maybe it wasn't truly about his financial status that made her leave him. It was the way he mocked her every mistake and made her feel less of herself.
She relaxed on the seat. "Okay, you might be right. And again enjoy the warmth you get from it." She sighed. "That's why I got this ticket. It's time for a fresh start with the truth. New memories. New life. Away from people who don't hesitate to remind me of how stupid I was."
Just then, the speaker crackled: "Flight 697 to Cape Town now boarding."
Kemi stood up slowly and slung her bag over her shoulder. Dami offered to help her with her box but she rejected his offer. Not out of pride. Not out of anger. But because she was truly done with her past.
Whatever they once shared - beautiful, messy, or real had lived its life.
For the first time, she realized he was wrong. The universe wasn’t punishing her. It was the universe giving her more reasons to stay off her past. Like a mirror reminding her why she had truly let him go at first. It was the universe reminding her of who she used to be and who she had finally chosen not to be.
She touched the ticket in her pocket, took a deep breath, and walked toward the gate without looking back at Dami. Not even when they landed at Cape Town.
This time, the only person she was looking for was to find herself.
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