I don't know much about painting. Or at least the rules, techniques, and how one can separate one's art from others to be exceptional to their own abilities. But what I do know was how to hold a brush!
In which case, my only goal from this craft was to be able to power through and finish what I had started, as well as be content with that said finished product.
And what I had also unexpectedly picked up from the journey was patience and deep focus. It cleared my mind when I planned out the colors in the back of my mind as my fingers delicately handled my brushstrokes in big, bold and ambiguous thick layers of poster color. And what I ended up with was a painting inspired by Van Gogh's Starry Night, with an abstract grassy plains biome with the ever so distant gray mountains in the back.
This to me, felt like I broke all the rules of what painting style might've been. But since this was the first time I had done such a style, considering that I have only ever painted in the styles and tutorials following Bob Ross, I had a great time.
Back in elementary I was never good at art. Pencils, oil pastel, and colorful markers. Somewhere down the line as I kept sketching and drawing for a specific assignment at school that I had to illustrate. The finished product would only suffice for me to say that the result was subpar compared to my peers.
I never really faltered, I felt that before, I always had that seperate energy reserved inside of my system for creative ventures, so over time I kept on gradually improving, with no sense of direction.
However, that sense of Imposter Syndrome did not come until some of my classmates made fun of a few sketches I made before. I felt dejected and never wanted to do something creative, and my drive to produce something eye-catching or thought-provoking halted shortly after the incident.
But nevertheless, this side of my self has never really disappeared. I mean, why should it disappear? It is a part of the human cognition and helps us to express our inner world and perspective in ways in which we either have to nurture it through educating ourselves and/or is something that one could naturally have, talent.
I could also describe the experience as calming, in a sense that I felt like I did my morning meditation but with a bit of focus with more than one action as time quickly swept up my work.
This project took me 4 hours to finish since I actually ran out of poster paint hahaha. And after I was done, I felt weird, got instantly tired, and immediately when my body laid itself down on the cold bed with the coldest pillow my head could have ever felt that night. 10 hours of sleep truly gave me the warmest good morning.
Overall. I'm glad to have made the mistakes I made in this painting because now I have a sense of direction to where I would like to take my creativity, as well as how I could ever visualize and use my brush efficiently.
Thanks and Sayonara!