So this is me cheering up myself.
Today, I cannot describe in words how I was so devastated. I accidentally deleted all my important files in the office and there was no way to recover them from the recycle bin. I don't know what the heck did just happen because 100-GB files did not give notification on my desktop that it was deleting (if ever I accidentally click the delete tab) and it was too late when I found out it was all gone in the blink of an eye. At first, I was speechless, the unlucky twist of fate was still loading in my brain until it finally sank in that it was happening, ALL FILES VANISHED and then my level of frustration skyrocketed.
I immediately contacted our IT Department and eventually they recovered all the files, but unfortunately, all recovered files were corrupted. I was like "Oh No! It's my whole life here in the office" and my heart was really heavy.
Sigh!
It's very depressing. My friends were also very sad when I told them what happened and feel very sorry that there was nothing they can do about it.
This painting, I painted last week was supposed to be given to a friend. It's painted on a tote bag (as what I've always loved doing recently) with the cherry design. I painted this because my pure intention was it's supposed to cheer her up whenever she encounters bad days, but ironically ended up that it was for me to cheer me up on this very devastating day.
I paused for a moment and stare at the picture I took with the unfinished painting. Maybe it's the message I want to convince myself that it's just a bad phase I am going through right now, and this too shall pass. There is nothing I can do about it and there's no use crying over spilled milk I have to accept it and move on.
"Padayon"
But of course, I'd be a fool if I tell you that just merely looking at this bag will take away, in the blink of an eye (just like what happened to all my deleted files), will perish all the depression that I am feeling right now.
I need someone. Someone who will tell me that everything will eventually be alright and her words have sought solace with my broken heart. Their comforting words have consoled me from weeping. That it is JUST A BAD DAY, NOT A BAD LIFE. And then I came to realize that they are indeed right. It's not everything there is under the sun and there's more to life than this. There's more in life I should be thankful for, rather than complain about. My sincere thanks to @bluepark and @zayan12, your words have been like this painting, living up to its name, it's cheery---ing me up. You have no idea how much it means to me.
I am still in a state of sadness and hopelessly wish for some magics to click "undo" command of what has just happened and "control-alt-delete" this devastation I am having right now. But no matter how I pretend to escape reality, the bitter fact is "scrolling up and down" telling me that it's for real, my files were lost forever.
So what this devastating day has taught me?! As my knees were shaken and weakened by enormous stress, well, it has taught me a very important thing, that...
...if you cannot change the situation, change the way you think.
And I guess, it is God's way of gently reminding me that not all battles are won by standing strong, some fights are mostly won by kneeling. 🙏
For now, slowly, I am starting to pick myself up, clinging to hope of the the 10 % of the files that were left (from which I gather sources from some of my colleagues) and the 90 % from being optimistic that some 'miracle' will happen. Though everything is drenched in blurry hope, I know everything will eventually be alright.
And here's to those who are feeling exactly like what I am feeling right now...
My friends, cheer up! ALL IS WELL🍒