You wanna know me? Do you? Me either. I want to know myself too. It is hard for anyone to know themselves and even harder to describe themselves. Who are we? Humans! You are a human. I am a human too. Then, why is there a need to introduce myself? Don't you know me? Don't you know me when I was a pre-born human, living with you, up there somewhere in heaven? I'm sure I've met you up there. You've just forgotten who I am! It's not your fault though. Because you've forgotten yourself by default. You were so busy in knowing you know you need a written preface of mine to know me.
But the question is: During all this time did you know yourself? Anyway, I certainly don't mean to annoy or frighten you.
I am Arshia Naseem. Arshia means "royal throne" and Naseem means "breeze". So, Am I a "gentle breeze over a royal throne"? The royal throne of what? Where? Whom? Maybe, my sacred throne of being, existing, and liveliness. I am by no means a pessimistic person because you might think why is she saying all that? Because I have to describe myself here and I don't know myself. And I am not ashamed of it.
Life happens to be an unjust forte for me. It says, live. But not providing me with any means of living. Isn't that merely a prejudiced side of life towards me?
I get up pretty late in the morning. I don't eat any breakfast. Because my body doesn't ask for any. I mostly assume that I won't like anything today, every day but I get to know that we can't assume things by ourselves. Life makes a way for me to live every day. Wait? What? Life makes a way for me to live. But I said earlier that Life is prejudiced towards me! Maybe, it is another hypothesis of mine towards life. I hope life loves me. I think it does! Yes, it loves me.
Love, love, love, lo... This sound is tickling in my head now.
Yes, I love myself. But I do not like myself sometimes when I stare a little too much in the mirror. I forget who I am. The person in the mirror becomes an unknown energy to me. So, how can I write an introduction when I don't understand and recognize the person I see in the mirror? It's hard for me. And here again, you are asking for an introduction of mine! How unethical of you!
But I am not mad at you. I have a suggestion for you. Why don't you look at me, judge me, and then try to know me by yourself?
What do you think my hobby could be? Well, I do not eat people. Don't worry. I stare at the stars. I gaze at the trees. the brown and the green colors of trees. I stare at the sky and its different colors. Sometimes, I stare at the horizon. Sometimes, I stare nowhere. But my fellows! I stare a lot. I do. I like green and brown colors. It's the color of trees, earth, food, and someone's eyes.
I like coffee and yes, it's brown too. And I like spinach and leaves of all kinds. They are green when fresh but turn brown after disintegrating.
I happen to study at an institute where they teach me linguistics and literature. But mostly, I do not learn anything new. I do a lot of self-study. I study philosophy, literature, and poetry by myself. I am interested in the laws of nature and psychology. Dark psychology and the law of attraction are my favorite subjects. I am also into quantum physics; the frequencies, the wavelengths, and the energy.
I like to learn new languages. I haven't learned anything new except a few phrases in French. Bonjour!
I am inclined towards learning French, Arabic, Greek, and Latin. I know Greek and Latin are dead. I just wanna learn them. I hope I can learn them in this lifetime.
I wear glasses because my eyes don't work. I wish I could buy new eyes for myself instead of buying a new pair of glasses. If I had the authority, I would give myself the eyes that can turn brown and green whenever I want them to. I like my partially brown eyes. I think I have black eyes. I do not know. I never looked into my eyes. But I can do anything to prove that I have partially brown eyes. Why don't you look into my eyes and tell me? That's how you'll also know about it. I have a mole on the right side of my nose that I do not like at all. But that makes me a royal breeze, so it will always be there. I have short curly hair. That I never liked but I am falling in love with them.
You wanna know me more? Ah, about my personality? Oh no! It is complex. It is a mixture of paradoxes. It is absurd. I don't quite understand myself. But I am trying to write about myself so that you can tell me who I am. And I will read it in the third person to understand myself. I am obsessed with shoes, pens, books, notebooks, and anything brown.
I have read so many books. Every book is my favorite but my favorite ones are The Secret History by Donna Tartt, The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, Where The Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens, and Khalid Hosseini's books. I'm gonna read Fyodor Dostoyevsky now.
And I like Franz Kafka. I am sure. If I had been there at his time, he would've felt safe around me and he would've told me about all that he couldn't tell anyone else. Donna Tartt is the writer whom I adore these days.
Can I be a writer? I want to write about so many topics.
I love badminton because I keep dreaming about playing it with a distant friend of mine.
I see a lot of dreams. From open eyes and closed eyes. Open-eye dreams are mostly optimistic and colorful. But closed-eye dreams are dark, black & white, and haunting. I see vague things in my dreams. And I get physically tired after seeing them. I have no choice. I see them every other day. But Open-eye dreams make me mentally sick. Both ways it is destruction, demolition, and devastation. But still, I am optimistic. I am gorgeous, I have a beautiful heart, a mind that understands everything, and a lovely soul.
I have a dark academic aesthetic. But my grades are not so good. I know why. And do I have to explain it? Certainly No! I am a collection of paradoxes. You won't understand me. Why don't you figure it out by yourself? Or we can skip this part as well. Shall we?
You must be thinking that how i got to know about hive. There is none other than @tahastories1 who motivated me to be on hive. Interestingly, my account was made months ago and i was just gathering my energies to write. Finally, i am writing and i believe i will be a constant soul in writing. A heart full thanks to @hivepakistan who helped me in making my account and their patience to see me around.