Criticism, Appreciation and Flattery are the things that happen in every community. Like other communities, it's also here in hive. In this article, I will be writing about its effects and the end results of it.
Recently I have read this great book named "How to Win Friends and Influence People", an international bestseller by Dale Carnegie. It was published in 1936 and still, it's valued so much more than we can imagine. It's that kind of a book which will happen only once or twice in a hundred years.
He talks about the relationship between people and the ways to communicate better to make the relationship better. There's this part where he talks about the importance of appreciating someone.
This may not be new information for you, cause all these self-help book guys and other motivational speakers are always blabbering about this subject. Most of them are talking about flattery in real, they are talking about giving fake appreciations.
Dale goes a little bit deep into the subject, he starts with criticism. More than sharing his thoughts exactly as he said, I will be writing what I have understood from it. A little bit if my version of the story.
Criticism will not all end up in a productive result, it will always turn on the ego of the one who is being criticized. So more than blaming it's better to understand the situation of the one who is standing opposite. There's a dialogue from the fiction novel "The Great Gatsby", the one the narrator's father tells him when he was young,
"Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had"
We don't know what he has been through all his life if we walked through that path, we also have made the same decisions. More than criticizing someone, we need an open mindset to learn from others, there's always will be a good part in everyone which we could learn and adapt, it will be even more helpful for us, it's more productive.
Then comes the case of Appreciation, it's a good thing but there's also a way to do that. Don't appreciate someone just for getting attention from him or simply make him happy. Appreciate someone when he has done something really good—the times when he deserves it.
Flattery could cause a lot of bad things. If we praise someone just for something he had done wrong, it will affect him badly. He starts to believe what he has done is right and will keep doing it. This can cause a lot of problems in his life.
All these three things have their own way of dealing it. Everyone wants acceptance from society, the desire for being an important one in society. Some use this idea for something great and some other will be manipulating it for selfish motives.
"Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise,’ and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime – repeat them years after you have forgotten them."
