Every day I wake up around 4am to stare at the ceiling for 30 minutes, then I get on my laptop to get my creative juices flowing. I'm generally fascinated by the art of creation, so whether it is stringing words, lines or materials together, it keeps me going. Despite this fascination and drive to create, I'm still very insecure about with the repetitiveness of my life and find it hard to discuss my means of income and lifestyle to people.
Creating on Hive opened a portal to the world of crypto and in the process, I've learnt about new ways to earn through cryptocurrency but for some reason, I feel some kind of weird way about my life, like I'm an underachiever or some shit.
Sometimes I unconsciously project my feelings about myself on others and start feeling even worse. When those feelings take centre stage, I get even more sad and somewhat defensive. For what it's worth, I'm grateful for the opportunity and support that I get around here but sometimes I randomly feel horrible about myself and I hate that.
Sharing is quite difficult for me but I just wanted to get it out of my chest because it is drilling an unwanted hole in my heart. I'll try to enjoy the pleasures of today while ultimately focusing on my future targets. Hopefully, I'll feel less horrible about myself when I get closer to my short term goals and this annoying feeling will show its face less frequently.
Sometimes I feel really bad about this monotony and my "boring" lifestyle. It is a struggle that I discussed on #hive. Do you also feel like you're underachieving sometimes?https://t.co/pSGFP5WpOX
ā Belemo (@belemo__) June 6, 2020